EXCHANGE INTERFACE

Today I gotta clear out the bedroom, because I'm going to visit the stepbro and fam from tomorrow to Friday.

Unfortunately, I spend most of the Wednesday and the Friday travelling, which is actually a very bad use of my time. Unfortunately I didn't think of this when I arranged this trip. *sigh*

Anyway, I changed the sheets on Sunday (crazy heatwave, but I needed to move from flannel sheets to regular cotton) and begin sorting through the winter/summer clothing. I need to drop a bunch of clothes off at the local goodwill, or possibly one of those companies that offer suits to women who are just starting up in the workforce. Lord knows I'm probably not going to need those suits again. Not to mention: I'm not going to fit into them again.

Need to look up what the weather is due to be like in the places I'm going and adjust accordingly. I think the start and finish will be much similar latitude, but the middle is going to be quite a bit further north than those, so it will probably be colder. So I'll need more and better layers.

The knee is an issue still, though, so travelling with a heavy suitcase is out. Ugh.

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I'm trying to get stuff done in the garden right now - we're looking at a crazy hot summer, and I've planted things out into pots and have watering systems in place, but how well they work through the endless late-20s days we're going to be seeing in October, I don't know. And whether I manage to get everything in, some things are still likely to die.

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I'm struggling in AtlA fandom: although I have stories that I've started, and tales that I want to tell, I'm just second guessing myself with every word I write. So maybe it's not the fandom, maybe it's just me right now and not being able to string a handful of words together. I swear I had better words and the ability to put them together ten years ago.

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Speaking of which. Been seeing a doc about the tests for perimenopause; based on her judgement, yes, we're in it. The knees are still not happy, the sleep is all over the place, I'm forgetting the words I'm looking for like I've been handed a bucket of blanks.

I'm getting tests done right, left, and centre, to establish baselines, but I don't think we're going to manage anything until after I come back. Which is a pity. I could do with some HRT before I step off into the great unknown. (Moderately unknown? IDEK)

But that's the long and short of my life. Mostly long.

And I'm really really tired because I'm just not getting enough sleep.

I was reading this fic and although I liked the premise, it's...hard going.

characters have a lot of internality but often it's opaque to the reader

The author sounds cynical in voice, not just in the character outlooks. eg. the AtlA fic 'Southern Lights' has a very cynical Katara (along with the others) because of the history of the world, but it still manages to give an overall hopeful outlook.

This fic is...not quite grimdark, but damn close.

The other thing is that there's a lot of internality that isn't being adequately explained. It adds a layer that makes reading it a bit of a wade-through. Granted, one of the issues I'm having with AtlA fic is that much of it is written by teenagers who have no internality: everything is explained painstakingly. There are no mysteries, and so often what I want is less explanation than the author is given.

This one is full of what feels like non-sequiturs: very sassy but not very explicatory or even connected. Characters don't answer anything straightforwardly, or even comprehensibly so far as I can tell. The authorial voice is didactic and often preachy through Katara's POV. Oh, and apparently Iroh killed Kya personally and directly, so Katara carries a grudge. But she's married to Zuko now and her history significantly differs from show!Katara in security and sense of safety, so she mostly snarks and snaps at Iroh, who is considerably more self-aware, but also considerably less likeable in the fic.

Interestingly, although being 12 chapters and 60K of words, there's only 50 kudos and 50 comments on the fic. So obviously whatever is hampering me in my enjoyment of it is also hampering others.

First week of unemployment has been rather busier than expected. Going here, doing this, doing that. Quite a bit of writing sessions. Also spending too much money.

Next week, I swear I'll stay home more. Do the tax. Sort out the woodchip pile. Get the tunnels covered...

Maybe I should assign one day to a room:
- bedroom
- study
- lounge
- front porch
- back porch

Goal is to clear what's on there, get things sorted about what can be thrown out what can't...

...I also have 2 cubic metres of soil arriving on Friday. Gotta get those in buckets and containers, beds and spaces where it's going to be useful. What a pity the truck can't come up the stairs and pour it into the wicking bed I've got on the porch...

Lost, but they were the better team. Not sure they were the same team we've been playing all season, but...

Look, we're missing a few key players, our back line is fragmented, our forward line is mostly two teenagers and a twenty-something who don't tend to play together, we have one centre midfielder who is getting run off her feet (although one of our attacking mids was put into the centre mid position and suddenly realised that she could see everything of the game from the middle of the field).

In the last quarter, our coach and main sweeping back (defender) just changed everything up, and that made things worse.

We're not a flexible team. We're not. Most of our players have a place they play in, a way they play, and they struggle to shift from that. We can work on that next year, maybe, but in the meantime, we're a pretty good team with a unifying enthusiasm for the game.

So we lost. 7-0. It was quite ignominious.

Went out to lunch afterwards at a club down the road. It wasn't bad.

But I made it through in one piece. Pretty much. So tired, but my bible study group is on supper tonight. Oof.

"Tielan has decided to leave us" my foot!

*snorts*

Came out of hockey training fine, just a little sore.

Went for a 500m walk at the gym today, rollered the hips and thighs. Have a physio appointment this afternoon after work.

Might have to go for a run tomorrow and again on Friday.

I'm basically leaving doing anything around the house that might cause me physical issues until next Monday. At which point, I'm going to be climbing roofs and pulling down tarps and cleaning windows and sorting boxes...

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Work offboarding over the next few days.

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The neighbours behind us are moving out. The house was bought by the Uniting Church about 3 years ago and they moved in (Feb 24) and now...they're moving out because of a change to her role with the church.

*sadface*

Now we have to navigate new tenants, and hope that they're nice people. Also, that they don't make a fuss about the complete mess of our back porch, which can be very visibly seen from the downstairs study...

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PLOT TWIST.

Just got a call from my one-up supervisor. He didn't realise I was finishing at the end of August until JUST NOW. He thought I was going until the end of September...

That's an big OOPS.

Also, not unusual for this company: the right hand knoweth not what the left hand doeth. Ah well. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

He did put in a word for me in a different role in the project which I am also qualified for, but hasn't heard back from them about that. Who knows?

Back feels a lot better this week. Still a bit tense when I sneeze, still kind of achey in some parts, but feels okay. Going to training tomorrow. Might try for a gentle massage tonight.

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Hockey Grand Final next Sunday, 11am.

1. don't do myself in!
2. score a goal!

We'll see how that goes. First I have to get through training tomorrow night.

--

Having emerged from the haze of AtlA fanfic (sort of) after reading a lot of the really popular stuff (some of which is good, some of which is...eh), and in the middle of trying to write my own...I'm finding it alternately impossibly draining and psychologically invigorating...at least for the first 5000 words. After that, my ability to write just flows away, into the 'impossibly draining' phase.

*sigh*

I feel like I had more words a decade ago. Two decades ago. Maybe it's perimenopause; maybe I used up all my good words before.

*bigger sigh*

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On Thursday, I went in to get my phone fixed - it's been having mobile data issues for a while, I wasn't getting any signal anywhere. Some of it might be transferring over to the JB HiFi plan (I feel like I should try to go back to Optus, go for a super-cheap plan) but some of it was almost certainly the phone.

Took it to a guy who looked hands-on and did repairs, he opened up the back (it was cool watching) and discovered the charging board connection to the antenna had cracked. Too much dropping the phone on its head, I suspect. Anyway, replace the charging board and the battery add a new case (cracked - again from dropping it too much) and it was ready to go. Not exactly 'cheap' but cheaper than a new phone. Or even a refurbished one.

I went to the library on Saturday afternoon, in 2 hours, I managed to write 1500 words. Largely because I left my phone in the car and without internet I had zero distractions.

With the month off looming ahead, I'm just thinking that maybe a daily trip to the library for a couple of hours with zero distractions would help me to write. I'd turn off the phone while I was in the library to facilitate the writing. Catch the bus to and from to get into the rhythm of things. That also leaves me time to do things at home in the morning, or maybe the early afternoon.

It's going to be a super-hot summer, and I really need to get things sorted out for the chickens. They need some space that will be cool and which we can herd them into. With bird flu well and around in Australia, I need to get the run covered. The tarp over their coop could do with replacing - a tarp might help keep the wild bird poop from getting in their yard too, so I have to look into that as well...

And every time I look around there's something else to do...

So many things and never enough time.

OH well, just a little bit each day. Maybe.

I handed in my quilts at midday, then went off to the hockey semifinals.

Fifteen minutes in, I pulled a back muscle. One of the ones off to the side of the spine, long, apparently somewhat necessary for core stability.

*screaming*

Now just about everything except lying on the other side aches. Coughing or sneezing actively hurts - like, sharp and painful. Sitting up aches, lying down on my back aches. Reaching for things that requires even a little bit of a lean is almost entirely out of the question.

I was hoping, now that the quilts were done, to have some space and time to write... Apparently, no, this is what the universe has in store for me.

*sigh*

Got a physio appointment for 9am tomorrow.

Just one game this weekend. Last of regular season.

At least one game in the finals series, then if we win we get another.

This weekend's game was against the top-ranked team, and while we played solidly - kept them out, made them mark us very closely by the end - we lost 1-0. We didn't have a heap of shots on goal, but there was at least one where it was me and the goalie and although I got it over her, it was off-goal and the wing wasn't there to pick it up and tap it in.

Knee is holding up when taped, but still not entirely comfortable. The twisting and turning in the middle of the game sometimes worries me a little - there were at least a couple of times when I did something tricksy, but we lost the ball and the opposition got it back up the other end, and then I needed to take a moment and take stock.

I think I need some rest time for the knee. Which I'm not going to get this week. Possibly next, depending on how we do.

I hope that we get most of these players back next year. They're getting better, bit by bit, their skills are becoming more sure, they just need the confidence to mentally say "that's my ball" and to go in and get it.

I am in so much trouble.

I have a WEEK to finish TWO QUILTS.

Including binding (which I hate) and putting on a sleeve (which I also hate).

Luckily it's a quiet(ish) week.

I was hoping to get something in for Zutara week 2026, but I think I may have to acknowledge that I am just not going to manage it. And part of me thinks that even if I did, it wouldn't be particularly popular anyway.

Anyway. I have tomorrow morning to at least get one of the quilts pinned, if I can only get my act together. Harder than it sounds.