tielan: (IM - pepper)
Wednesday, September 6th, 2017 08:43 am
I actually slept the night through last night, instead of waking up at 4am, but I'm still tired. The back still aches, but it's easing. As a result, I think summer hockey is out. I might offer to play occasionally, if a team is short, but I think my body needs the break...

Also starting to worry that I've cracked or damaged a bone near the base of my spine. The increased sensitivity/twinges in my feet, the relative ease with which my back goes out… The problem is that I had all the MRIs 18 months ago and they came back clear, so I don't want to do it all over again (paying for the scans) and discover, no, actually everything's fine.

Three assignments are in (and in need of revision, although these will do), one to go. Should be an easy one (hahahahaha) would be easier if recip had asked for my fave, but can do this otherwise. Next time, though, self, CHECK THE DUE DATES!
tielan: (AVG - agents)
Monday, September 4th, 2017 12:31 pm
Seriously screwed on the exchanges front. Why is everything due THIS WEEK?

Okay, and why did I pick up that Pinch Hit? Two of 'em, even! IDIOT.

But, yeah, struggling on the writing front. Of course, all my muse wants to write right now is smut; kissing, sexing, seducing, oh and a bit of fighting before kissing. And what's due? Gen exchanges and gen prompts, of course.

Tooth is still aching, headaches are getting worse, back went out again yesterday at hockey. I had a brief session of the shakes after working out in the garden, and I'm starting to wonder a bit about the soil on this plot; the house was built 55 years ago, right before they started caring what kinds of chemicals they'd pour out in the soil when the job was done... I'm quietly worrying that I'm poisoning myself with my garden.

We lost our 1st semis to the top team in the competition, but only in extra time, and after they had about a DOZEN short corners: one of the umpires was unbelievably crappy in her calls. I had several shots on goal, couldn't make any of them stick. Frustrating (and hot; temp was 28C easy, one of our players had a touch of heastroke after) but not entirely unexpected. Now we have to win against another team next week. And I need to get my back seen to ASAP, or I'm not going to be any use next weekend.
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2017 11:40 am
I don’t write about my health much anymore – the occasional muscular strain – such as the issues I’ve been having with my achilles, which have generally settled down (except during games) – but otherwise...

teeth and toes )
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Monday, July 3rd, 2017 08:24 am
Slight headache around the temples; likely to be lack of water after playing half a game of hockey. (I didn't hydrate enough.)

Slight ache at back of head, consonant with having banged it down on the turf. Apparently the photos of the goal that I assisted by getting the ball in are pretty good. The photos of my being taken out...not so great.

Someone asked if I got knocked out, but I'm pretty sure the conversations over my head were continuous while I was lying down, no breaks like from a loss of consciousness.

Achilles tendon is not playing ball; it feels twingey and sore and I had to walk to the bus stop this morning. I think I'll be working from home for at least the next couple of days - most of the people who'd usually assign me work are going to be working from Wagga until Thursday, so there's not really any value in me working in the office. (Another reason I dragged my sorry carcass in this morning rather than call in sick.)

And I have a dental appointment this afternoon. Joy.
tielan: (AVG - agents)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2017 03:28 pm
Had lunch. Am now in the food coma zone. Coffee will probably have to follow shortly, although I usually try to avoid two cups in a day.

(Does anyone else get kind of high on a second cup of coffee? Like your brain goes a little floaty.)


The 1-6 tooth (with the root canal) is feeling vaguely 'fizzy' again. I'm not sure it's ever going to feel 'normal' again. I'm also getting mild aches in the head again, and the right foot is again feeling very sensitive.

I'm chalking all this up to playing hockey - increased sensitivity in one part buzzing all the pain and sensitivity channels in the rest of my body. It's still a little disturbing, and kind of exhausting.


Parentals are home on Friday, B1 will probably move back in that night. It will be nice to have someone else in the house again.

And then I offered to cook dinner on Saturday...


Australian Populism: What If Australia already had its Trump moment...and it was Tony Abbott?

Perhaps not all is lost?

Mind you, Australia is very different to the rest of 'the West' - ocean borders, a much younger nationalistic identity and therefore not as entrenched, a western country in a very non-white region, and one of the most urban populations in the world with corresponding intermingling of culture and influx of immigrants. As a result, the reasons that populism has perhaps passed are not necessarily going to be replicated in Europe and the North Americas.


Sydney Writer's Festival: Six Things We Learned

1. "On Such Small Things Do Fate And The Future Depend": Hitler, Drugs, the Third Reich, And The Movement Of Mussolini.
2. "Not What You Can Write, But How Do You Write It?": A white man writes a story about a black man raping a white woman and hands it in to his black Lit teacher. It's gonna be a long discussion class tomorrow...
3. "The Immigrant And The Xenophobe Are Close Cousins When It Comes To The Concept Of Refuge": is refuge what we seek or what we defend? Is refuge a refuge if it isn't exclusionary by nature and therefore sought?
4. "The White Gaze And Review Culture": White people can review anything, but Indigenous reviewers are only relevant when it's Indigenous culture.
5. "As Many Brits Living Outside Of Britain as Syrians Living Outside Of Syria": facts and the distortion of them for false inference.
6. "There's Always Someone In The Audience Who Wants To Get Their Id Out In Public": #NotAllAudienceQuestions


Racism: Poisonous Racism At The Root Of Western Societies

“This is my history too,” Tempest continued, her voice shaky. “I’m living it, it’s happening. We are at the end of colonial history, British history. I want to say something to you, I want to be able to talk about it. Guilt is not good enough any more. Guilt is narcissism. Your guilt is about you. My guilt is about me. It’s not good enough.

“Empathy. Empathy, humility, reparation and change,” she urged.
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Friday, May 19th, 2017 10:37 pm
Now is definitely not the time to be twinging again!
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Saturday, April 8th, 2017 11:17 pm
I haven't done one of these in a while. Mostly because I haven't seen anyone much, but also because there's no improvement to report and I'm coping.

if you're new and you want the backstory, try my 'health' tag )

As they say, "this growing old stuff sucks...although it's better than the alternative".
tielan: (grr)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2017 10:15 am
I'm enjoying the time off; time to quilt, to write, to plant my garden. However, my sister is getting tense about not having any income (hers, in particular, but mine also).

I have gotten a lot of quilting done! Including making a pussy hat block:

Pussy hat block

It's only 5.5" unfinished - 5" square finished - but is going to be in the corners of the Sydney Mod SQuaD (Sewists, Quilters, and Dressmakers) Group quilt for the year, photos of which I will have up later. It was a round robin, and I did the centre medallion, and half of the outermost border.


Jaw is not getting better. It's not getting worse, so far as I can tell, but it's not getting better. I haven't spoken to the oral surgeon just yet; we're going with some osteopath work first. *shrugs*


On Friday, I'm doing nails for a dozen women from a far north set of islands who have come down to Sydney for the Mardi Gras. Apparently they're trans, and a friend asked me if I was interested/willing to help with giving them manicures. Sure thing!

I should really do my own nails before then; they've been natural for a few days after repeated manicures and polishes, just giving them a bit of time to recover (but not too much, otherwise they split).


Writing; very little inspiration to write. Will have to get back into the 20 minutes every hour writing that produced some of my longer works.


I have not been posting about politics; things are getting bad here, too. I really have to broach the matter of getting a group together to the friend I'm sitting and sewing with this morning. Even some protest will let our (conservative) member know that we don't like what his party is doing.
tielan: (quilting)
Monday, January 16th, 2017 03:15 pm
My Marvel diorama, a.k.a. "A Version of Civil War That Addresses The Question 'Does Great Power Really Come With Great Responsibility Or Just A Moral Free Pass?'"

happens to involve Maria and Pepper )

Anyway, I set all this up because I went to look at the review of the Maria Hill doll and found no comments and the guy said "Maria won't be the centre of anyone's Avengers toy display" and I said, "Hold my drink".


Let's say there's a disease making the rounds. You can get a vaccination for it, but there are side effects - dizziness, nausea, exhaustion for a while before it kicks in and you're generally okay after, sometimes there's mild scarring at the injection site.

The disease is...well, it's been known to be deadly, or very close. At the least, it's debilitating, the symptoms last for years, and it's contagious.

Let's assume that the vaccine is free: would you take it and risk the side effects?


Clearing out the quilting room has resulted in the discovery of a great many things that I'd kind of forgotten I even had...

I think I might need to have a goal of at least 1 quilt top a month, and at least 6 finished quilts by the end of the year - not counting my show quilts (at least 2).

And no more fabric purchases...


Dammit. I may have to go to the big hardware store AGAIN after going every day for the last four. But I fear I really do need the watering system in before tomorrow's heatwave. My back garden is not doing so well (and neither is the front one, but at least there's a watering system in).


Went to the gym for the first time in a year. I'm going to try to get back to going regularly this month, before I cancel the membership when I'm made redundant... I just realised it's been about 5 years since I regularly went to the gym (as in religiously, week in, week out) and all that time I've been paying a chunk of money for a gym membership.

I'd like to boost my muscle, make my metabolism work better, and redevelop my fitness. I may have to accept that I will never be as fit as I was at 24, or even at 34, but I can damn well not be down for the count at 44...
tielan: (C&H: &*@#!)
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017 11:31 pm
Dad had a bad case of the shakes this afternoon - as in, 1 hour of uncontrollable, full-body shivering. He's been rather less than 100% the last few days, but the shaking freaked me out.

Called Uncle Doctor #1 for a phone diagnosis, he said "get him to hospital", so we got him to emergency.

After 2 hours of waiting to see a doctor, 2 hours of waiting for results to come back, 1 hour of double-checking the results, he's been admitted overnight for observation. Slightly elevated inflammation levels in his bloodwork.

I am le tired, because I was the responsible adult for the afternoon, which involved:
a) keeping my stepmother informed
b) keeping my dad from walking out
c) keeping assorted other parties informed
d) 5 hours of waiting

And now we have stepmother, stepbrother, and step-aunt staying at our place overnight, so the house is pretty much FULL UP in that way which we were trying to avoid by putting dad and the steps in B2's apartment, and having B2 stay here.

Finally, I have an appointment with the dentist tomorrow to discuss the swelling in the gum. Let's hope he listens...
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Friday, December 30th, 2016 09:12 am
My incisors no longer meet in the middle. The molars on my right side (the side with all the issues) are clashing before my incisors touch.

Basically, the swelling in my gum is pushing my right upper molars down.

Time to see the dentist again...
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Thursday, December 8th, 2016 07:31 am
I have too many things to do right now.

  • Get my resume out. I need to restructure it, because 20 years of work at a dozen different clients is a bad and brain-blowing way to try to inform someone of your skillsets. On the other hand, I made the recruiter I saw yesterday laugh when I noted that I'd been working with this system for two decades and was practically an 'old lady of SAP'. (Note: I look like I'm in my late 20s, so most people boggle when I talk about being middle aged, let alone 'old'.)

  • Contact former co-workers asking if they know anyone who's looking for contractors.

  • Sort out present for younger stepbro with whom we are having 'Christmas Dinner' on Monday. Also possibly sort out present for older stepbro and wife.

  • Sort out presents for my cousins' kids. Six of them: five are receiving quilts - the youngest is 2 and probably won't appreciate one just yet; I'll give him a couple of years. I have at least two that need quilting and I can get those done reasonably fast - no fancy quilting, just the standard fiery curls.

  • make up fliers for New Years Eve street party: apparently I'm the only one who's willing to do it - park down the road, people bring a dish, the kids run around screaming, it's all good. If the worst comes to the worst we can probably hold it at our house. Or possibly at the house of the guy down the road who's just sold his place...

  • call endodontist: I'm going to have the RC redone, even though I suspect the tooth will eventually have to come out. A friend had the same symptoms that I did, but her tooth ached and ached and ached and ached until it went nuclear and HURT LIKE THE FUCKING GET ME TO HOSPITAL. I don't know that I want to wait that long (although it might turn out cheaper)

  • garden things: I want to grow ALL THE THINGS. Right now, the tomatoes are going off (they always do) the early corn I planted is rotting with only one decent cob in a planting of about 20, and has been significantly overtaken by the later corn. I need to plant another set. I have a capsicum that is doing nicely, a brussels sprout that probably isn't going to make it through the summer, and a couple of eggplants that are doing their level best to grow as fast as possible. Oh, and an oakleaf lettuce that's gone a little monster.

  • fruit trees: grargh argh. don't even ask.

  • yuletide: haven't even started, although I got a missing piece of the puzzle last night, so that's helpful.

  • captain hill secret santa: no idea what i'm going to write for this - do I write one of my existing plotbunnies even if it gives me away? Or do I start something entirely new?

  • treats and stockings and whatnot: [community profile] fandom_stocking | [community profile] chocolateboxcomm are up and running, and I have a dozen YT treats and no time or brain to write them...

  • I know that technically, not working should give me more time to do this. But it's that whole 'expanding resources' paradox that some of us experience; we always overbook ourselves, whether the resource is time, money, or justice for the world. (Ironically, miserly people in mind are also miserly in money, time, and justice for the world. It's like it's not how much money or security you have, it's whether you're capable of decency in the first place, and then you'll use your resources accordingly...)

  • gifts: for my bible study ladies, for my spiritual mentor, for various friends...

  • cards: gotta get these out, dammit ( I do this every year.)
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Friday, December 2nd, 2016 07:54 am
Your creative goal always exceeds your creative capability.

My youngest sister, B2, inherited her ability to flail from our father, who last night enacted the 70-year-old-man version of what B2 does when faced with a situation that's not to her satisfaction.

If they don't offer me a redundancy on Tuesday, I'm going to be rather annoyed.

December is going to be crazy busy this year creatively, since November was pretty much a wipeout. I have fic exchanges that aren't written, and gifts that are unmade, and so many things to do...

A person who has the time on social media to criticise but not sympathise is not a friend.

Everything is growing right now. EVERYTHING.

Better an evening spent with ladies of like mind and loving spirit than to go drinking with work colleagues, even #onelasttime.

I hate this part of trouble ticket support: basically scrounging time every day to make up a full day. UGH.
tielan: (don't mess with)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2016 01:38 pm
It feels like Friday, rather than Wednesday - it's been such a busy week so far.

I have utterly and completely failed NaNo - 11K at most, not counting any words I eke out tonight - I won't make 40K in a night, I just don't have the time between work and tonight's meetup with the women from bible study, the Christmas Party tomorrow night, followed by my old church's Gingerbread House Event...

Which reminds me: must look up Gingerbread Houses, and make some royal icing if I want good icing options (instead of the cheap stuff they provide). We're a competitive lot of gingerbread house decorators at my old church!

The re-filled tooth actually feels like it's settling some. Of course, I haven't tried chewing anything hard yet, I'm going to give it a week or so before I try crunching anything. Upper tooth is as it has been for the last 8 months. *shrugs*
tielan: (don't make me shoot you)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2016 08:23 am
I had another filling re-done this afternoon. Right side lower jaw.

my right side is not lucky side )
tielan: (HP - not strong)
Monday, November 21st, 2016 10:55 am
It's not wrong to prep.

If all the panic is wrong, then sure, prepping for all the things that might happen (and are more likely to happen to people without money, without power, without hegemonic advantage) will have been a lot of effort for nothing.

If the panic turns out to be justified, on the other hand, then at least there'll be plans in place, and after the initial emotional and mental shutdown of "this can't be happening" then there'll be rescue frameworks in place (or the knowledge of how to get the hell out of dodge).


I'm rather intrigued by the response to my sedoretu series.

The two pairings I expected to do best - Maria/Steve (for which I'm known) and Steve/Bucky (which is popular) - are way behind the usual hit-to-kudos ratio, as is the Natasha&Steve story (another popular interaction/pairing). Meanwhile, Maria/Natasha is par for the course, and the Maria&Bucky story is going great guns!

I don't think many people are reading all the stories - sedoretu fics are not for people who want to see their OTP do happily ever after.

Come to think of it, if people are reading all the way through, then they probably kudos at the end of the existing set of stories, which would be Maria&Bucky...


Tooth is still causing discomfort. I have a new mouthgard which helps at night, but whatever is wrong with the tooth is not getting better.


Work has me doing piecemeal right now; they don't have a steady client, so I'm working with a lot of support stuff...
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Saturday, October 15th, 2016 10:37 pm
Back to throbbing/aching. Then again, I guess it never stopped, I just took painkillers the last couple of days to deal with the implant.

I wonder if I'm intolerant to the 'cement' they used to seal the implant in.

This is the 'worse before it gets better' part - that's what I'm telling myself anyway...
tielan: Wonder Woman (Default)
Thursday, October 13th, 2016 08:15 am
Headaches. I mean, it's not even 48 hours after I got the implant out, but headaches at the right temple.

stuff )



we're back in fandom limbo )


work )

Ugh. Life.
tielan: (SGA - Teyla 2)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2016 12:29 pm
You would not believe the flip-flopping I've been through on whether or not to take out the implant. First it was yes, then it was no, then it was yes, and then it was no...

I'm going for it. In just over an hour.

If you're the praying kind, I'd appreciate that. If you're not the praying kind, I'd appreciate whatever good thoughts you care to send my way for healing and health and all that.

I should probably have something to eat before I do this.