links and thinks

[tielan]

I was only going to give up alcohol for a month, but I wasn’t prepared for the impact it had
I drank to pretend my life was more interesting. Feeling slow or a little sad in the mornings was so normal I barely noticed it.

Frankly, I don’t think I could handle if my life got any more interesting. I do like a drink every now and then – a glass of wine or a cocktail with dinner.

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The Guardian : Jail if by sea, through the gaps in the system if by air.

When Trump says ‘infested’ we know he’s talking about people of colour: And again the burden of explanation falls disproportionately on non-whites.

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I Kissed Christianity Goodbye.

I don’t actually remember reading this book, although I heard of it. I don’t remember subscribing to the ideas in it – nobody in my (Chinese-background Australian evangelical) church youth group was going to stop dating. Admittedly the culture was different to a white Australian evangelical church youth group: a lot more study focused, with subtly different definitions of masculine and feminine. And, too, I was a ‘tomboy’ and sharp enough to sass back if someone told me I should be ‘more ladylike’.

(Weirdly, I just realised an interaction I had with a girl at church who was my age and, well, looking back, I’m not convinced she particularly liked me. One time she gave me what I thought was a compliment, so I said “thank you”. In hindsight, I think she might have been trying to embarrass me. My sisters say Vel never liked me; she did seem rather catty, but I think I mostly brushed it off. I was always a little ‘odd’ at church.)

Perhaps one of the things that concerns me is how I might have contributed to the ideas of this back when I was younger (so much younger than today). Reading the articles inside Christian purity guides, Christian Trolls who are mostly aiming for power, and also Sarah Bessey’s I Am Damaged Goods I wonder who I injured along the way.

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Male directors don’t really capture the intimacy of female friendships.

And let me just say: neither do most female writers in fandom. After all, it’s not important to real people (male people), so obviously it’s not actually important. Relevant cross-reference: Female Characters And Fandom: well, that’s one way to look at the world, I guess.

If you don’t want to, then say you don’t want to; don’t hide behind “there are no good ones”. It seems to be to be the same mindset as Christians who own bakeries who don’t want to bake LGBTQI wedding cakes: they just don’t want to live with the consequences of being seen for what they are. They’re nice people! Good people! They just don’t want to (but they also don’t want people to think they’re biased)...

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Chinese Australian History predates the First Fleet

I think the notable thing about Benjamin Law’s ‘surprise’ that other non-whites speak with Aussie accents is that it’s not limited to families who were ‘the one non-white family in an otherwise white town’: I still internally have a double-take moment when I hear non-white (subcontinental or Asian) people talking in Aussie English on the train. And I grew up with other Asian families who’d immigrated here in the 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s – who’d formed large portions of the core of the Chinese immigrant population of Sydney. And still.

His documentary would be a good place to start learning more about non-white immigrant cultures though – in tandem, of course, with learning more about the (non-white) indigenous culture that was nearly eradicated by colonisation – along with a redress of a curriculum that’s not only deliberately omitted the participation/involvement of non-whites but defined Australia by that omission.

My own ‘I didn’t know that’ moment is the statement: “ Let’s not forget: Australia largely federated to ensure it could keep out the Chinese.” Which…I’m not surprised, but I’d never heard that before.

Comments

[wpadmirer]

The alcohol article was interesting. I once quit drinking for a year because I feared I wasn't controlling it. I drink occasionally now, but not often enough to think about it. And I live with someone who doesn't drink at all, so I rarely have reason to think about it.

I do know that alcohol can be destructive. I watched my father drink until his liver was hard as a carp. I know others who can't control it.

The former minister is at least making a statement and trying to right his wrongs of the past. And shit, he was 21. Most of us don't know our ass from a hole in the ground at 21.

I think the only show I've seen that really showed an intimate female relationship that felt real was Grace and Frankie.

Personally, I came to female friendships later in life. All my really close ones were made in my 40s and beyond. Now I love my female friendships with great passion. They are a wonderful thing in life.

I've known Asian-Americans all my life. My mother had many Asian friends, so I don't think it ever occurred to me that it wasn't something normal. The first person I met who was from Taiwan fascinated me because he had an accent.

My best friend is Indian, and her parents speak with British accents. She was born in the UK, but immigrated as a child and grew up in North Florida. So she does not even come close to sounding like her parents. It cracks me up.

[tielan]

I had a friend who started to realise that she and her husband might have a drinking problem when they realised they consumed a bottle of wine every night...and were moving toward a bottle of wine each. I think they cut back. I lost contact with them shortly after.

Otherwise, my family have never been big drinkers, so going for a Dry July wouldn't be a hardship for us (except in the sense of "when you can have it, you don't care; when you're forbidden it, then all you do is want what you can't have".

[wpadmirer]

Yeah, the old forbidden fruit is always sweetest thing. (grin)

[rose_griffes]

That link to tumblr about fandom writing (or not writing) female characters: YEAH. Same with characters of color. And it's funny, because online fandom, and writers in fandom, have taught me so much about implicit bias... first by direct words in passionate, thoughtful essays; and then as I learned more and got better at recognizing implicit bias in my own thoughts, I started seeing those things in the fanworks around me. Everywhere. As thick as fog, and just as hard to point to for someone else to understand why I'm so upset about all the damn fog.

[tielan]

However counter-cultural and different fandom likes to present itself, it’s still very much a part of the culture we’re in, with all the biases involved.