restless

[tielan]

Feeling restless this weekend.

This is partly because all my church friends are off on a group holiday up north. I got invited to go, but I couldn't, because:

1. the parentals are on holiday, requiring someone to stay at their place and feed and medicate Dara-the-cat;
2. that someone was B2 (which was a change from B1 having to do it) but:
   1. she was so nervous about medicating the cat that B1 stayed over there, and
   2. she has half the week away with friends until Sunday when she won't be available to do the medicating
3. B1 has therefore been over there since the parentals left, and she likes the peace and quiet (from the cats and possibly from me) and also probably the fact that the table she's working on is not a great pile of All The Things That She Said She'd Clear Up But Which She Hasn't And It Makes Her Feel Guilty But She Doesn't Have The Energy To Do Anything Other Than Work Which Absolutely Needs To Be Done To A Deadline, but she's going away this weekend with friends, too, which means
4. I'm looking after Dara's food and medication for the Saturday night and Sunday morning

It's the first year I've been invited to this group holiday, and I was looking forward to going and being included. And instead, I'm sitting here at home, feeling like they'll never invite me again because, well, I refused this year so maybe they won't bother issuing an invitation next year...

And I'm pretty sure that's the brainweasels talking, but it's also just...sometimes it feels like there are very few people who make time to see me or want me to spend time with them and their families. I mean, I think that's also brainweasels doing the talking, but sometimes it's difficult stomping the brainweasels. Plus, our society is very family-oriented, and yes, I think that the family is a wonderful building block of society, but it does make it a little difficult when you don't have a traditional definition of 'family' (ie. a sexual/romantic partner with a focus on long-term relationship stability, whether or not that includes other people) for yourself.

list of what I did today
- dug up some tomatillo seedlings to plant them in plant cells for better growing and so I could give some to a friend who's wanting some,
- planted out the individual seedlings that I had of: heirloom tomatoes (12), cucumbers (2), cosmos flowers (6), dill (3), salvia flowers(4) and an unknown curcubit,
- planted seeds of artichokes, 4 types of pumpkin, 4 types of melon, cucumbers, 3 types of pepper/capsicum, 4 types of flowers, 2 types of corn, 4 types of lettuce, and I don't even know what else...
- collected some cinderblocks that I'm hoping to use to make a level/stable space under the lounge room window for some more planters to go in.
- bought a tub of ice cream (it was 31C at 3pm today; this is only the start of October!)

I guess it's not surprising that I'm kind of tired.

Comments

[wpadmirer]

I hope you do get invited next year. It sucks that your plans were negated by someone else's plans.

[booksarelife]

Seconding this!!

[beatrice_otter]

That sucks, hope you get to go next year, and I totally get what you're saying about being single and how that affects your social life.

OTOH, sounds like you got a LOT accomplished today, so yay for that.

[amilyn]

Just as a note? I LOVE spending time with you, and having you here visiting is still a highlight. Making meals, biking...you are a lovely guest and you are always welcome because we ENJOY you.

In case you ever wondered.

[tielan]

I think they will. It's just that the brainweasels claim they won't.

[tielan]

I suspect the brainweasels are lying, but I guess I'll find out next year.

[tielan]

It was a productive day and I was quite satisfied by the end of it.

[tielan]

*hugs*

I loved spending time with you and your family, too. And, no, I never doubted that I was welcome and that you enjoyed my company as much as I did yours.

[wpadmirer]

Ignore the brain weasels!

[tielan]

*salutes* Will do, sir! ;)