Bossy gave some good advice. There is a myth out there, probaby started by peope like my husband who get along with people. Their glasses are never half empty, they are full of potential friends. Moving to a new country, new job, new home, new EVERYTHING has defeated shy people, turned them into recluses. I live in a small country, and I moved from one major city to the other one -- yes, we only have two - and it was hell. I was a 30 minute flight or a 5 hour drive from familiar faces, but normal life doesn't allow the average person to take trips like that on a normal basis. I spent hours on my own. I didn't know anyone in my new apartment building, in the community, at my son's new school, at my new job, at the new church I tried, so even though I was pretty much surrounded by people from morning to night, day in, day out, I was alone. My husband works in enterrtainment and promotions, and his acquaintance was already very wide, so his attitude and experience was very different from mine. If there was a support group for Kingstonians who Know Noone in Mobay, I think joining them woud have helped me. The abiity to share with people whose experience was similar to mine woud have helped - my husband could only send me to visit my mother in the hopee that it would make me feel better. It didn't.
After 3 years, I was almost certifiable. The difficulties of being without support and mentally and emotionally isolated in a strange city with a small child just made every other problem worse. And not having any outlet for my frustrations pushed me really close to the edge - well, one of the edges, anyway. As soon as an opportunity presented itself, I ran back to the familiar. In retrospect, I acted hastily, and had leisure to repent, but I coudn't bear it. I was sure the loneliness was going to kill me.
Bossy gave some good advice. There is a myth out there, probaby started by peope like my husband who get along with people. Their glasses are never half empty, they are full of potential friends. Moving to a new country, new job, new home, new EVERYTHING has defeated shy people, turned them into recluses. I live in a small country, and I moved from one major city to the other one -- yes, we only have two - and it was hell. I was a 30 minute flight or a 5 hour drive from familiar faces, but normal life doesn't allow the average person to take trips like that on a normal basis. I spent hours on my own. I didn't know anyone in my new apartment building, in the community, at my son's new school, at my new job, at the new church I tried, so even though I was pretty much surrounded by people from morning to night, day in, day out, I was alone. My husband works in enterrtainment and promotions, and his acquaintance was already very wide, so his attitude and experience was very different from mine. If there was a support group for Kingstonians who Know Noone in Mobay, I think joining them woud have helped me. The abiity to share with people whose experience was similar to mine woud have helped - my husband could only send me to visit my mother in the hopee that it would make me feel better. It didn't.
After 3 years, I was almost certifiable. The difficulties of being without support and mentally and emotionally isolated in a strange city with a small child just made every other problem worse. And not having any outlet for my frustrations pushed me really close to the edge - well, one of the edges, anyway. As soon as an opportunity presented itself, I ran back to the familiar. In retrospect, I acted hastily, and had leisure to repent, but I coudn't bear it. I was sure the loneliness was going to kill me.
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