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TITLE: People Skills In Atlantis
SUMMARY: How to deal with the inhabitants of our fair city.
CATEGORY: Humour
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTERS: Elizabeth, John, Rodney, Teyla, Carson, Radek, Ronon
NOTES: It wasn't quite big or relevant enough to make it into the 'documentation' challenge, so you're getting it here. I imagine some Australian sergeant putting these together and persuading someone in Personnel Orientation to include it in the 'Atlantis Handbook' that they hand out to newbies in the city.
People Skills In Atlantis
Don't give Dr. Weir a reason to yell at you. She may look pretty and nice and sweet, but beneath the velvet glove is a fist of iron. With spikes on the knuckles.
Colonel Sheppard flirts. It’s like breathing for him. However, making jokes in his hearing about alien women in the sack is likely to get you punishment detail for a very, very long time.
If Dr. McKay asks you a question, say firmly and directly that you do not know and WALK ON, otherwise he will explain the answer. You do not want that.
If your ego thinks you can take on Teyla and get some eye-candy while you're at it, then nobody will sympathise with your battered corpse. This alien babe can kick your ass.
Dr. Beckett is usually a nice man. However, if you endanger others, you will regret it; he wields the needles.
Inquiring after Dr. Zelenka will get you one of two answers. The long one involves a lot of Czech, and ranting about Dr. McKay. The short one involves the word, 'Fine.' Go for the short one.
Don't pick a fight with Ronon Dex. For any reason. At all. We mean this.
- fin -
SUMMARY: How to deal with the inhabitants of our fair city.
CATEGORY: Humour
RATING: PG-13
CHARACTERS: Elizabeth, John, Rodney, Teyla, Carson, Radek, Ronon
NOTES: It wasn't quite big or relevant enough to make it into the 'documentation' challenge, so you're getting it here. I imagine some Australian sergeant putting these together and persuading someone in Personnel Orientation to include it in the 'Atlantis Handbook' that they hand out to newbies in the city.
People Skills In Atlantis
Don't give Dr. Weir a reason to yell at you. She may look pretty and nice and sweet, but beneath the velvet glove is a fist of iron. With spikes on the knuckles.
Colonel Sheppard flirts. It’s like breathing for him. However, making jokes in his hearing about alien women in the sack is likely to get you punishment detail for a very, very long time.
If Dr. McKay asks you a question, say firmly and directly that you do not know and WALK ON, otherwise he will explain the answer. You do not want that.
If your ego thinks you can take on Teyla and get some eye-candy while you're at it, then nobody will sympathise with your battered corpse. This alien babe can kick your ass.
Dr. Beckett is usually a nice man. However, if you endanger others, you will regret it; he wields the needles.
Inquiring after Dr. Zelenka will get you one of two answers. The long one involves a lot of Czech, and ranting about Dr. McKay. The short one involves the word, 'Fine.' Go for the short one.
Don't pick a fight with Ronon Dex. For any reason. At all. We mean this.
- fin -
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No, you do not want that :)
Very, very funny little fic. Made me smile a lot.
I've been reading your fics for most of today and will try to give feedback a bit. I love your writing style and the way you write characters...
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