The truth is that it's actually quite rare for someone to get a reaction in the order of magnitude that gatorgrrrl did for what she did. After all, it's not as though this is the first story fandom's ever written where two white men find true love in a foreign place while the 'foreigners' are coded as background, subordinate, inferior.
That's a factor in my decision as to whether or not to keep writing.
Another facet to the decision to "feel the fear and write it anyway" is that I'd refuse to have my fail be the last thing I'm known by. Embarrassment fades with time - God knows I've embarrassed myself over and over, in fandom and in RL. I've done the racefail, the transfail, and the ableismfail - in relatively small doses. And probably lost friends or potential readers over it.
In the end, I couldn't control what others did or thought; I could only control my own actions and reactions. And when I Failed, I told myself, "That was stupid. STUPID. Now get on up and do better!"
It certainly would make a difference that I've never Failed on such a scale as gatorgrrrl, that my most egregious errors have been limited to smaller audiences. And I firmly believe I'm fortunate in my friends - who were the ones to deliver the smackdown when I racefailed, transfailed, and ablefailed.
So I've learned that I can fall and get up. I've learned that I can accept the responsibility, apologise, take the hit, lose some audience, but pick up and keep going. And maybe that's the core underlying belief in my 7 Rules: that failure doesn't have to be The End.
I understand that fear of embarrassment and humiliation is a powerful disincentive; however my experience tells me that you can pick yourself up from embarrassment and humiliation and people will respect you again. It's harder to prove yourself, and some people won't ever forgive you, but it's not the end.
no subject
That's a factor in my decision as to whether or not to keep writing.
Another facet to the decision to "feel the fear and write it anyway" is that I'd refuse to have my fail be the last thing I'm known by. Embarrassment fades with time - God knows I've embarrassed myself over and over, in fandom and in RL. I've done the racefail, the transfail, and the ableismfail - in relatively small doses. And probably lost friends or potential readers over it.
In the end, I couldn't control what others did or thought; I could only control my own actions and reactions. And when I Failed, I told myself, "That was stupid. STUPID. Now get on up and do better!"
It certainly would make a difference that I've never Failed on such a scale as gatorgrrrl, that my most egregious errors have been limited to smaller audiences. And I firmly believe I'm fortunate in my friends - who were the ones to deliver the smackdown when I racefailed, transfailed, and ablefailed.
So I've learned that I can fall and get up. I've learned that I can accept the responsibility, apologise, take the hit, lose some audience, but pick up and keep going. And maybe that's the core underlying belief in my 7 Rules: that failure doesn't have to be The End.
I understand that fear of embarrassment and humiliation is a powerful disincentive; however my experience tells me that you can pick yourself up from embarrassment and humiliation and people will respect you again. It's harder to prove yourself, and some people won't ever forgive you, but it's not the end.