snarky observations about SGA news

[tielan]

how to stir SGA fans in three easy steps

1. Announce crossover SGA guest stars for its not-doing-so-well-as-you-hoped sister franchise on your blog.

2. Drop a host of hints about "spoilers" of what's happening to the SGA characters, not one of which actually makes any sense given previous characterisation of said characters and basic sanity.

3. Sit back with your drink and watch the fans squee/froth/whatever.

--

I'm kind of boggled at his suggestions. Atlantis stays on Earth, Stargate Command is run out of Atlantis, John and Nancy back together? Rodney and Keller married? No mention of Teyla at all except in relation to Torran and Kanaan? Ronon staying on Earth and making babies with Amelia?

Wait, wait, wait... These people - these "heroes" - have left an entire galaxy's worth of people at the mercy of an enemy that have preyed on them for the last ten thousand years after they arrived in the place, woke the enemy up in unheard-of numbers, took the galaxy's best hope of fighting back under 'possession is nine-tenths of the law and you don't have a law in Pegasus anyway, and if you did, we aren't subject to your primitive little ules), aren't going back to finish the job...and these are the good guys?

I think I want the next movie to be about Todd. About how he manages to bring down the Wraith on Earth and suck every miserable person on this planet completely dry.

--

And here is why there will never be an SGA movie:

...if they actually made a Stargate Atlantis movie, Jason M's new position as the main character of the big-screen movie Ronon Conan The Barbarian (yeah, like you haven't heard that one before) would require TPTB to give him actual lines and a plot.

Comments

[zillah975]

I have totally missed all of this (except the part about Jason starring in Conan, and I will never stop squeeing about that). Is this a Malozzi (sp?) blog thing? I don't read him, he makes my brain bleed.

But omg. If those are the spoiler hints for what's happening with the SGA!verse, I want nothing to do with it. It's like the crappiest possible AU fanfic. I shun it.

Argh.

[tielan]

Mallozzi thing. He announced 2 SGA guest stars for SGU. An attempt to bolster the franchise, I suspect, which then transitioned into "What the Atlantis expedition has been doing since the end of the series," which basically featured the following:

1. Atlantis staying on Earth
2. Teyla playing happy families with Kanaan
3. Ronon having Sheppard to help induct him into Earth culture (and barfights)
4. Rodney and Keller...actually, I don't remember what he said about what Rodney and Jennifer were doing.

At the end was a bunch of questions: Sheppard and Nancy resolving their differences? Rodney and Keller contemplating marriage? Torran teaching his kindy to stick-fight? Rodney and Radek still sniping at each other? Ronon and Amelia?

Crappiest possible AU fanfic about sums up my opinion, too! (Beautifully succinct comment there...)

[timespirt]

Well, I don't read that blog either unless someone points out he's being a jerk or something worse. I think that announcement is worse! Just to boost the ratings of their poorly written crappy show! The ratings will probably be great just for the one episode and will then return to the bottom of the bucket for the rest of the lousy second season.

[tielan]

He used to be pretty okay; then his jerkass moments got more frequent, and his behaviour towards SGA has been...well, execrable.

I want to give SGU a fair go (mostly because of David Blue), but there's nothing to interest me in any of the reviews. Not even Robert Carlisle who would usually be a 'must see' for his acting chops.

[timespirt]

When he started acting very unprofessional I started tuning out. He is so arrogant and condescending to

the fans. I can't be bothered to read stuff from someone that uses his blog to bully and bash people.

He won't post any posts that are against his points of view either, so he can take cheap shots at people

that can't even say anything to the contrary! I never knew writers could be so arrogant. He acts like

a highly sought after producer, but he is just a lowly peon that can also be replaced like so many other

people that can do his job!

[darkrose]

SyFy/Acme Shark can't afford Jason M anymore.

[tielan]

Yeah, that's pretty much the dealio.

Of course, they could probably get around that by immediately packing him back off to Pegasus... D:

On the other hand, TPTB have apparently crashed and burned their relationship with the Flan, which is slightly more problematic.

[elegantpi]

Late reply is late.

I read about all of this just yesterday, and had a look at Mallozzi's blog. In a later entry, he suggests that "cranky fans" should be fed to Todd. So classy. Also, this:

----------------------------------------------------
Stryse also writes: “I think the Air Force has demonstrated a willingness to help a friend out, so I’m sure one of our battle cruisers would be sent back to Pegasus to return any residents home (assuming they wanted to leave… Earth does have its perks).”

Answer: Hmmm. Debatable unless they were already scheduled to make the trip. And if they were, one wonders which character would choose to go back. Yes, given the choice, I’m sure Todd would make the trip, but it’s unlikely Earth’s authorities would be inclined to let him go. Ronon? Sure, it’s possible he’d want to head back and continue his one-man war against the wraith. Teyla? Possibly, she’s got roots back in Pegasus, but I would think that the Milky Way’s comparatively safer environment would influence her decision. She’s now a mother after all. Kanaan? He’d probably be the biggest fish out of water and the most likely to feel homesick, but given the choice would he abandon his wife and son?
----------------------------------------------------

Emphasis mine. Because Teyla, who was once the leader of her people, would TOTALLY choose the SAFER option of leaving her people at the mercy of the Wraith in another galaxy just because she's a mother.

I don't think Joe Mallozzi even KNOWS the characters he's writing about - they're certainly not MY SGA characters, who would never leave the people of Pegasus in such dire circumstances without a second thought. :/

[tielan]

It's interesting to see what they think Teyla would value.

Teal'c chose freedom over the 'safety' of his wife and son.

Teyla chooses safety over the freedom of her people.

Says a lot of what they think about men vs. women.