poem: "Gutter Press" by Paul Dehn

[tielan]

Gutter Press by Paul Dehn
News Editor:
Peer Confesses
Bishop Undresses
Torso Wrapped in Rug,
Girl Guide Throttled,
Baronet Bottled
J.P. goes to Jug.

But yesterday's story
Old and hoary
Never mind who got hurt.
No use grieving
Let's get weaving.
What's the latest dirt?

Diplomat Spotted,
Scout Garrotted,
Thigh Discovered in Bog,
Wrecks off Barmouth,
Sex in Yarmouth
Woman In love With Dog,
Eminent Hostess Shoots Her Guests,
Harrogate lovebird Builds Two Nests.

Cameraman:
Builds two nests?
Shall I get a picture of the lovebird singing?
Shall I get a picture of her pretty little eggs?
Shall I get a picture of her babies

News Editor:
No!
Go and get a picture of her legs!

Beast Stays Beauty,
Priest Flays Cutie,
Cupboard Shows Tell-Tale Stain,
Mate Drugs Purser,
Dean Hugs Bursar,
Mayor Binds Wife With Chain,
Elderly Monkey Marries For Money,
Jilted Junky Says 'I Want My Honey'.

Cameraman:
'Want my honey?'
Shall I get a picture of the pollen flying?
Shall I get a picture of the golden dust?
Shall I get a picture of a queen bee?

News Editor:
No!
Go and get a picture of her bust!

Judge Gets Frisky,
Nun Drinks Whisky,
Baby Found Burnt in Cot,
Show Girl Beaten,
Duke leaves Eton-

Cameraman:
Newspaper Man Gets Shot!

May all things clean
And fresh and green
Have mercy upon your soul,
Consider yourself paid
By the hole my bullet made-

News Editor: (dying)
Come and get a picture of the hole.

Comments

[thothmes]

Oh, thank you for sharing this. I had just spent a second night where instead of having fun at the end of a long day, I was filling out registration, release, and medical emergency forms (multiple versions and copies) as well as player conduct and parent conduct forms. Last night it was ice hockey, tonight it was figure skating. So finally I got done (feeling a little grumpy for having had to do it) and I wandered into the interwebz to play, and one of the first things to greet me was this, which gave me a delightful (and also a bit rueful) giggle.

[tielan]

glad to make you laugh as a good ending for a manic day! *hugs*