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I'm coming up to my 20 year HS reunion, and I'm looking forward to it.
I know that high school seems to have been a horror for many people I've met in fandom. "Hell is other people" goes the saying, and high school seems to be a lingering memory of the pain caused by others picking on those of us who were a little too different, or weren't willing or able to hide it.
I'm not sure if it's because I came to my 'weird' later in life (I hit my big geeky stride in my mid-20s), or because my school (and my schoolmates) was pretty good about people who weren't exactly like them.
There were cliques, yeah, but my friends and I didn't get teased (that I recall) about being bookish. Then again, it was an all-girls' school where you got in based on your academic intelligence, so everyone was at least a little bookish - although perhaps not to the point where they'd read novels while walking between classes.
And it was the early 90s and we were young, which meant there was a feeling of "we're all women in this together".
I've only really kept up (in person) with about 2 women from school - one I knew from when I was a child and I was in the bible study group led by her parents for three years, and the other is a friend who went into the same line of work and has much the same sardonic sense of humour.
There are a bunch of schoolmates who I "keep up with" via FB. Which is to say that I glimpse their statuses as they post, and they glimpse mine as I post, and most of theirs are about family (and a little bit of politics) and most of mine are about quilting and cats (because I don't post very much about fandom or politics on FB).
But I'm looking forward to catching up in a "it'll be good to see what everyone's doing" way, although not necessarily a "I really want to maintain this relationship" way.
One of the particularly interesting things (for me) is considering education and how they shape us - I have quite a few friends with young children and the big question is What School Should They Go To? The conversation tends towards private/independent schools because we live in a middle-upper area and people are losing faith in the public school system. Not surprising: our federal and state govts - both of which are led by 50-60something white men who live in our 'neighbourhoods' - are heavily conservative right now, so they're hacking the public system to bits in the name of 'pruning to make it better'. Newsflash: people and public service systems aren't trees, the metaphor only stretches so far.
And listening to the recitation of other people's experiences in The Search For A Good School is enlightening.
My memories of school are generally positive - the negative or embarrassing ones are more related to Stupid Things That I Remember Doing (and which I doubt anyone else much remembers). But then, I was academic, I was a little geeky but nothing terribly out of the norm, and I was likeable but not notable. And I was a little socially clueless, which meant that if people disapproved of me outside my group, I didn't really notice and didn't really care.
Ultimately, there are people I'd like to catch up with, to see how they're going, to find out if we're still capable (have the time/energy/sociability) of being friends. If we're not, it's not heartbreaking. The memories I have of them through six years of high school are good, and I'll keep them.
tl;dr - high school memories: not as awful as seems to be the common experience.
I know that high school seems to have been a horror for many people I've met in fandom. "Hell is other people" goes the saying, and high school seems to be a lingering memory of the pain caused by others picking on those of us who were a little too different, or weren't willing or able to hide it.
I'm not sure if it's because I came to my 'weird' later in life (I hit my big geeky stride in my mid-20s), or because my school (and my schoolmates) was pretty good about people who weren't exactly like them.
There were cliques, yeah, but my friends and I didn't get teased (that I recall) about being bookish. Then again, it was an all-girls' school where you got in based on your academic intelligence, so everyone was at least a little bookish - although perhaps not to the point where they'd read novels while walking between classes.
And it was the early 90s and we were young, which meant there was a feeling of "we're all women in this together".
I've only really kept up (in person) with about 2 women from school - one I knew from when I was a child and I was in the bible study group led by her parents for three years, and the other is a friend who went into the same line of work and has much the same sardonic sense of humour.
There are a bunch of schoolmates who I "keep up with" via FB. Which is to say that I glimpse their statuses as they post, and they glimpse mine as I post, and most of theirs are about family (and a little bit of politics) and most of mine are about quilting and cats (because I don't post very much about fandom or politics on FB).
But I'm looking forward to catching up in a "it'll be good to see what everyone's doing" way, although not necessarily a "I really want to maintain this relationship" way.
One of the particularly interesting things (for me) is considering education and how they shape us - I have quite a few friends with young children and the big question is What School Should They Go To? The conversation tends towards private/independent schools because we live in a middle-upper area and people are losing faith in the public school system. Not surprising: our federal and state govts - both of which are led by 50-60something white men who live in our 'neighbourhoods' - are heavily conservative right now, so they're hacking the public system to bits in the name of 'pruning to make it better'. Newsflash: people and public service systems aren't trees, the metaphor only stretches so far.
And listening to the recitation of other people's experiences in The Search For A Good School is enlightening.
My memories of school are generally positive - the negative or embarrassing ones are more related to Stupid Things That I Remember Doing (and which I doubt anyone else much remembers). But then, I was academic, I was a little geeky but nothing terribly out of the norm, and I was likeable but not notable. And I was a little socially clueless, which meant that if people disapproved of me outside my group, I didn't really notice and didn't really care.
Ultimately, there are people I'd like to catch up with, to see how they're going, to find out if we're still capable (have the time/energy/sociability) of being friends. If we're not, it's not heartbreaking. The memories I have of them through six years of high school are good, and I'll keep them.
tl;dr - high school memories: not as awful as seems to be the common experience.
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