hehe

[tielan]

Etiquette Hell would definitely think this was unconscionable.

My cousin T's widower is remarrying. He and his wife-to-be are asking guests for assistance in setting up the hall out the back of the church, and assisting with put away at the end of the 'afternoon tea reception'.

They've just sent out an email to a handful of friends/guests asking if people are willing to help with one, the other, or both. The party itself is catered, and the caterers will be managing most of the food and utensil clean-up, but the hall needs to be set up and taken down again.

There's a part of me that's a bit annoyed at being asked, a part of me that's willing to be helpful, and a part of me that's kind of gleeful at doing something so "anti-etiquette" (where the rule is that one is guest or one is servantry, and never the twain shall meet).

Comments

[ringsandcoffee]

One wedding where I was a bridesmaid, we girls cleaned up most of the reception hall. I can't remember how that came to be, but we just did it. My feet hurt like crazy and my dress was a mess after, but whatever. We had fun.

[tielan]

There's many a story on the 'Etiquette Hell' site where marrying couples pretty much take advantage of guests to get free flowers, cake, wedding advice, etc.

Generally, the attitude from the admin(s) and the commenters there appears to be "if you are a guest, you shouldn't have to help; if you are helping, then you should be paid". Which...yes, but also...no.

I mean, we're not doing the full catering, but it's pretty much a crew to put tables, and chairs up, and to decorate with banners/streamers, and a crew to take things down afterwards...

[rmc28]

I specifically asked our bridesmaids and ushers to set up and tear down the reception hall, and to round up additional help if needed.

Which, they were guests yes, but they were already guests who'd committed to doing a bit extra, and they could have said no.

(But then, we did a bring-and-share-food reception and paid for the booze, because all the options for catering were *so* expensive we could either invite immediate family only, *or* invite more people but ask them to bring food. And one of the best weddings I went to did that and so I nicked the idea. So I am probably a terrible person by that site's standards.)