thoughts on thoughts on how to write a good "dear author" letter

[tielan]

Everyone focuses on the letter and how it's written. Nobody tells the Dear Author to assume good faith and best intention and Optional Details Are Optional.

Comments

[havocthecat]

It's just too much work to assume bad faith, honestly. Or to do that level of metatextual analysis.

[tielan]

Over on the anonmemes some people seem to take active pleasure in assuming bad faith.

[havocthecat]

Yeah, I've noticed that. It's just not worth it! Also I've got multiple so-called "terrible" denizens of either Yuletide or ffa on my circle/friendslist and they're all very lovely people, so barring some of the actual criminals or those documented in Hugo-nominated reports of certain behavior, I'm inclined to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt. Especially ordinary ficathon letter writers, which we've all been.

[tielan]

I always give people the benefit of the doubt; I'm just presently in the mindset of assuming everyone who's assigned to me are going to be assholish about my letter, thanks to the anonmemes and previous bad experiences.

[havocthecat]

It's like the letter is Admiral Ackbar screaming "it's a trap" and you're trying to veer off into lightspeed while the Death Star is coming at you.

I'm sorry, I've had two ten or eleven hour days in a row. I'm exhausted and loopy. I really am sympathetic, but it's going through a filter of HOLY SHIT I'M TIRED.

[tielan]

*hugs and gently points towards bed*

It's okay. I'm assuming good faith on your part. ;)

[havocthecat]

I'm watching The Horror of Dracula first. Stress release! Sleepily watching it.

[kore]

I know it's mainly just blowing off steam, but I'm amazed at the sheer vitriol directed at people who don't comment or don't comment regularly enough or at satisfying length or WTF-ever. It's a comment! Not someone denying you a matching kidney!

[tielan]

Oh lordy.

"Nobody's Denying Them A Matched Kidney" is now my go-to phrase for the OTT reactions of such anonmemes.

[kore]

Hah! <3

[rmc28]

I am *terrible* at commenting on fics, especially when I'm stressed and tired. Like, I am trying to get better at it, I am trying to get over my perfectionism that says I must write something meaningful rather than a verbal equivalent of kudos, but I frequently just thankfully mash that kudos button and close out the tab. If I *really* liked something I bookmark it.

(it maybe doesn't help that I bloody love getting kudoses and then panic at responding the actual wordy comments)

For actual gift fics I obviously always put effort into expressing my thanks but sometimes that still doesn't come out very much more than "WOW I loved this so much, I really liked how you did X".

Basically, how much I say in response to a fic has a lot less to do with the fic itself and a lot more to do with how my week has been and just how much communicating-with-humans I have already put in that day.

[tielan]

I used to be a lot better at replying to comments, but I've let a few fics slide and right now I feel I'm just struggling to reply to anything.

But, yeah, on the anonmemes there's whole threads about what it means when people kudos but don't comment, or comment but don't kudos, or how much nuance there is in a comment and whether it makes a difference...

I say "just answer as you feel is fit, and take any comments that you receive in good faith". I mean, there's not much else you can do, is there?

[kore]

I admit if I write a story for someone in an exchange I want even just a brief "Thanks for writing for me!" along with the kudos. But it's not like I'm going to keep some complicated spreadsheet about Who Deserves Coal Not Treats because life is just too bloody short for that nonsense. (Not to mention the people who get pissed when they write a thank-you comment and the author doesn't respond! W.T.F.)

[kore]

Yeah, the anonmemes always mock people with social anxiety who feel dread leaving comments, BUT FOR SOME OF US IT'S A REAL THING. Particularly when the damn comment gets picked apart so even if it's nice "oh it's insincere" or formulaic or whatever. That's not going to get you more comments, my dudes! Rather the reverse!

I just leaned into it and put "I am a mentally ill flake and you shouldn't expect regular replies from me" on my profile. Doubtless some people think that is speshul snowflake to the max but at least they won't be waiting months for me to respond to their deathless supportive wisdom or whatever.

[kore]

Yeah, the bad faith readings just seem automatic and really nasty lately. I don't know why.