slowing down a little

[tielan]

Maybe.

I went for 3 runs last week, while doing 2 personal training sessions, and hockey training, then 50-ish minutes of running on the weekend.

By Monday I was absolutely shattered. Didn't go running, went briefly running on Tuesday, then PT in the afternoon and training at night.

My PT suggested that maybe adding so much running on top of everything else was not such a good idea. So I'll be reducing the amount of running down to maybe once a week, plus training, plus a game. On the weeks where I don't have a game, I'll go for another run.

BTW, these are not "runs" exactly, but more intervals training, where I run for 60 seconds, then walk for 60 seconds, then run, then walk, then run, etc., until I've gone as far as I want to go. The idea is to improve my fitness for hockey. Still, PT had a point in that it was a significant level up from what I'd been doing before.

Anyway, it's been a tiring couple of weekends, and as I may have mentioned, the weekend was 100% full on. And there's another full-on weekend this weekend with the time away on the course.

Of course, Bridgerton also starts this weekend, and while I'm not going to binge it, I am hoping to maybe get to watch the first episode. We'll see how my phone wifi copes with Netflix this weekend. (I'm staying somewhere new, and they don't offer internet with the house.)

Did my one-week-a-year bible study leadership; I don't feel adequate to it, frankly. I can think good points, but it's also difficult as at least one woman tends to end up taking over the conversation and talking into the silences. (I like leaving silences for people to think and reflect; D does not.) Also, I have a lot bouncing around in my brain, and not all of it is 'orthodox', which this group is better than most about being unorthodox but also sometimes I feel WAAAAAY unorthodox. Which, really, I guess I am.

It's not comfortable.

I am feeling a little on the outside of some of the connections in the church; but also I have a lot of connections elsewhere, and I think I'm mostly doing okay, just not super-duper connected. That may make no sense; it's 10:30pm and I need to have a wash and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day and I have PT in the morning.

Comments

[beatrice_otter]

Oof. I don't have any advice for you about how to handle someone talking into intentional silence, because I never use it in any Bible study I lead because I can't stand it. Occasionally I use intentional silence in worship (because I know that a lot of people find it meaningful, once they get used to it), but not in Bible study. For me, intentional silence is just a time for my brain to spiral out into thinking about something else and completely lose any sort of spiritual or devotional focus I might have had going. It's not just that I don't personally get anything out of it; 90% of the time it actively derails or stops anything I had been getting out of the Bible study or devotion prior to that.

As for being connected to your church ... sometimes the sense of connection ebbs and flows for a lot of reasons. It can be tough to figure out the difference between "this is a temporary thing, and will change, and after a bit I will start feeling less isolated and more connected again" and "there is a disconnect between me and this community, and it's never going to get better, so maybe it's time to see if I can find a church where I can be fully a part of the community." It's a hard place to be. I'm praying for you.

[tielan]

I may have given the wrong idea. It's like, you ask a question and nobody answers it, and I wait for someone else to step in. D tends to step into the silence rather than waiting for someone to answer.

And while there are certainly studies where nobody will answer (taking teenagers through a study, fr inst), this group is one where people think things through, marshalling thoughts rather than just blurtying out the 'obvious' answer.

[beatrice_otter]

Ooooh, that one. Usually when I have someone like that, I can gently take them aside before the next study and ask them to give space for others to think sometimes, and it usually works, but not always.

I was assuming you were doing some sort of lectio divina.

[facethestrange]

I am honestly inspired by the amount of physical activity you do (and I mean the amount without the overdoing). I just started exercising for real at the end of February and I can now comfortably do 30+ minutes a day, but so far I still haven't done more. Getting there. :)