As for not hating your past self for failing to get a story right the first time ... imagine you were talking to someone else. They had made something years ago and it reflected their skill level at the time. Now they were talking about redoing it and asking about how not to hate themselves for doing something then with the skill level they had at the time, instead of the skill they have now, with a LOT more practice. My guess is that you would not think it fair, or right, or rational, for them to be so hard on their past self. Try giving yourself at least as much grace as you would give anybody else in that situation. I know it's a lot harder to apply it to yourself than to others, but sometimes just reframing the situation like that helps me. At least to see when my emotions are leading me astray.
Basically, it would be hating yourself for not having magically been perfect at writing from the get-go. Hating yourself for needing practice and needing to learn. Hating yourself for being human. And that's not right.
And if you can't redo the novel without hating yourself ... maybe find another novel to write instead. A lot of the time, when you have ANY sort of creative project, and you come back years later and go "oh, wow, I know so much more now, there's so much I'd like to fix there!" it's not really ... possible to take the thing you made then and fix the problems with it. You have to do something else with it. Or even if you can fix it, you'll always be seeing the flaws because that's what you have to do in order to fix them, so you'll never be satisfied with it. That's not always the case, but it might be here. Instead of focusing on fixing that particular project, thank it for what you learned while doing it and the practice you got from it, and then take what you learned and make something new, something you can start fresh on.
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As for not hating your past self for failing to get a story right the first time ... imagine you were talking to someone else. They had made something years ago and it reflected their skill level at the time. Now they were talking about redoing it and asking about how not to hate themselves for doing something then with the skill level they had at the time, instead of the skill they have now, with a LOT more practice. My guess is that you would not think it fair, or right, or rational, for them to be so hard on their past self. Try giving yourself at least as much grace as you would give anybody else in that situation. I know it's a lot harder to apply it to yourself than to others, but sometimes just reframing the situation like that helps me. At least to see when my emotions are leading me astray.
Basically, it would be hating yourself for not having magically been perfect at writing from the get-go. Hating yourself for needing practice and needing to learn. Hating yourself for being human. And that's not right.
And if you can't redo the novel without hating yourself ... maybe find another novel to write instead. A lot of the time, when you have ANY sort of creative project, and you come back years later and go "oh, wow, I know so much more now, there's so much I'd like to fix there!" it's not really ... possible to take the thing you made then and fix the problems with it. You have to do something else with it. Or even if you can fix it, you'll always be seeing the flaws because that's what you have to do in order to fix them, so you'll never be satisfied with it. That's not always the case, but it might be here. Instead of focusing on fixing that particular project, thank it for what you learned while doing it and the practice you got from it, and then take what you learned and make something new, something you can start fresh on.