I don't have the space for fandom anymore

[tielan]

There's no room for in it for my brain, no space in my schedule for watching, no community to drag me along with them.

And also, I've become resigned to the fact that I will never get stories about the characters that I want. That my interests are not anywhere near the interests of the majority of viewers, and because what counts is eyeballs (or reader pages, or whatever) then the characters I love - or the archetypes I want to see - are not going to appeal to most people.

It's a little demoralising, and makes it hard to write.

Not to mention the state of the world is steadily wearing on us all. Not just the AI (fuck AI) but also the world and all it's harms. All the hopeful stories I had for analogues and spin-offs of our world are presently crumbling while watching Ukraine, Gaza, the authority of the current US Administration, the right-wingers, Christian Nationalism - not to mention all the tech issues.

*sigh*

I can't remember if it was John Green or someone else (might have been Hank Green) who said during the 2020 election process that he was hesitating over starting a new book, because a 2nd Trump administration would create a very different world to one in which 45 only managed one administration. He was, as it turns out, exceedingly prescient on that front.

Comments

[timespirt]

The ship is sinking very quickly. I don't hold out hope that 45/47 will not destroy this country long before he leaves office...if he leaves office.

[jenab]

*Hugs*

[lilysea]

That sounds really hard. :(

I hope you get a chance for some fannish stuff that gives you joy at some point.

[kore]

"All the hopeful stories I had for analogues and spin-offs of our world are presently crumbling while watching Ukraine, Gaza, the authority of the current US Administration, the right-wingers, Christian Nationalism - not to mention all the tech issues."

Yeah, that's a huge part of it for me. I just feel frozen a lot of the time. Plus there's all our IRL health crises, and the Trump administration tearing through Medicaid and and....

I also just feel so out of step with fandom. People loved the new Thunderbolts movie!.... which I couldn't stand. Ppl love the new Murderbot show! Which I bounced off completely. (To add insult to injury everyone's talking about how their old Murderbot fics are getting renewed attention. Mine are too ancient and/or suck I guess, lol.) I should just take a break but fandoms been my online home for so long that feels so isolating....idk. it's also my entire social life which even I know is NOT healthy, lolsob.

And trump has only been in power like 154 days?? And so much is already completely wrecked, nationally and globally.

[kore]

Yeah, I'm starting to think that short of dying, he won't leave at all.

[wpadmirer]

It's definitely a different world, and the Christian Nationalists are desperately doing everything they can to destroy our democracy. It's a fucking nightmare to Americans.

[adafrog]

{{{hugs}}}

[timespirt]

Sad, isn't it.

:-(

[hiddencait]

It has been really REALLY hard lately, but I'm clinging to fandom as hard as I can as much to escape dealing with the hell of the news as anything else. It's not fool proof, of course, but there's not a lot I can do. I mostly read and lurk. Writing has defintiely been HARD lately, but I need that even minor interaction while I'm slogging through the trailer park sequel. Writing completely in a vaccuum kills my motivation FAST.

[beatrice_otter]

I'm sorry. I hope you find other things that bring you joy. God knows we all need more joy right now.

I just realized today that it has been at least a week since I have looked at DW. I normally have it as part of my routine, to make sure I don't miss anything from my friends, and it somehow slipped out of my routine without me noticing.

[tielan]

At this rate, it looks like he's going to turn up his toes or be declared incompetent. But even then you've still got to deal with at least the next two in line... I'd be more worried about JDV in power tbh.

And yeah, Dumpfs destroyed almost all of the last eighty years of positive US influence in the last four months. It's not pretty.

[tielan]

*hugs*

I'm just tired. Could be politics, the planet, or perimenopause. Pick one. Pick them all!

[tielan]

I'm mostly engaging myself with growing things and making things, creating things and trying to build things...

But I'd like to write again. Like, seriously WRITE again...

[timespirt]

No one really likes Vance. I would worry about who would be pulling his strings.

Yeah, Dumpf destroyed this country already.

[tielan]

Oh, yes, I also feel SO OUT OF STEP.

It's a bit "bread and circuses while Rome burns", tbh. The people I see who are all "ooh, new Marvel movie!" that I know are also "AI is great and not at all destroying our environment!" So not...uh...shall we say...aware? Reliable in that sense?

*sigh*

I'm just "kill people while having a penis and people think you're cool", "save billions, while not having one, and nobody remembers you exist".

[tielan]

Yep. And it's a nightmare to all-the-Christians-who-aren't-Christian-Nationalists.

Like Americans watching other Americans be The Worst Version Of American That They Can Be and thinking "these assholes are pissing on our collective reputation".

The new Pope seems to be setting a few things straight, mind. I'm not Catholic, but much respect to him.

[tielan]

*hugs back*

[tielan]

I can understand that. I'd love to have some more fandoms that I can enjoy playing in, but everything has slowed down to a trickle, even the story rewrite.

And yeah, writing in a vaccuum is a fast track to "you have written no words today"...

[tielan]

I am enjoying my garden and my quilting. A book series re-read. Social interactions. Small things.

I haven't been very regular with DW for a while now. My Dwircle doesn't move very fast - a lot of the people I followed were small or medium name fans, and without the bulk of fandom to drive them, there hasn't been much for them to post about. Which is kind of my problem, too.

[beatrice_otter]

Yeah, the activity is on tumblr, but it's really hard to cultivate friendships there. I spend a lot of time on various fannish discords ... but mostly the smaller ones, where you can actually get to know people.

[wpadmirer]

It is indeed!

I like the new Pope, too.