Actually, in most good anti-racism training, white people are in a group by themselves to start working on their stuff. People of color do the same -because god knows, we have our own issues across color lines. A third group is where people come together and try to have a discussion.
This takes time, it takes effort and it takes a whole lot of commitment.
For myself, I know I can just withdraw completely into groups where I can still have challenging discussions, including the inevitable blunders, but I can dump the rest of fandom into the ash bin. It's not something I want to do but if it's a choice about my mental health versus hearing yet another chorus of "I'm a clueless white person" and a handful of bandaids then then I choose my peace of mind.
Re: The safe space metaphor
This takes time, it takes effort and it takes a whole lot of commitment.
For myself, I know I can just withdraw completely into groups where I can still have challenging discussions, including the inevitable blunders, but I can dump the rest of fandom into the ash bin. It's not something I want to do but if it's a choice about my mental health versus hearing yet another chorus of "I'm a clueless white person" and a handful of bandaids then then I choose my peace of mind.