You ask, at the end of your post, if not wanting to pair a woman with the alpha-male character might not be sexist. You're talking about particular pairings, there--a different pairing in each fandom, but the same dynamic. One should want to pair a female character with the alpha-male; if one doesn't, one is behaving in a sexist way, for that reason. You make your opinion on that pretty clear.
You didn't say what Astrid quoted about people who under-represent women in fandom not being worth knowing, that was Yahtzee. (sp?) She expressed agreement with what Yahtzee said, and I expressed my disagreement with both of them, not you (as you didn't say it.)
If something is happening in fandom that you don't, personally, care for, you can certainly posit any number of negative reasons for its happening and call it a negative trend, one that you think needs to be countered. If people express that they have valid reasons, individually, for the behavior, and you acknowledge that there are valid reasons for the behavior (though you also say you think of them as "excuses" and don't want to hear them), then the behavior is valid and not a negative trend, regardless of how many people exhibit it. A valid behavior is not less valid because 500 people are performing it as opposed to 5. If you're saying that, in a group that large, somebody must be lying about their reasons, just because the group is that large, I'd ask you to present evidence to support that assertion, because it doesn't naturally follow. Because of your bias against that behavior, you're going to be disposed to feel negatively for the performers of it and that negativity may express itself as being suspicious of their motives and veracity, but without evidence to support that, I can't follow you into that assumption. You don't like it, and you want it to stop. That doesn't make it inherently wrong. Those who can be shown through evidence, if any, to believe/behave in this way should be addressed individually; that minority behavior should not be used to create supposed negative trends that can't be supported in their existence through evidence. If one wants to bring up the possibility of a negative trend existing and gather that evidence to to support or refute it, one has to be open to hearing (without bias) the input of those who want to assert either way, and to discuss it without dodging the responsibility to do that under the banner of "trends, not individuals." Individuals make trends, and discussion with the individuals who are being accused of taking part of those trends is important to determining their validity.
no subject
You didn't say what Astrid quoted about people who under-represent women in fandom not being worth knowing, that was Yahtzee. (sp?) She expressed agreement with what Yahtzee said, and I expressed my disagreement with both of them, not you (as you didn't say it.)
If something is happening in fandom that you don't, personally, care for, you can certainly posit any number of negative reasons for its happening and call it a negative trend, one that you think needs to be countered. If people express that they have valid reasons, individually, for the behavior, and you acknowledge that there are valid reasons for the behavior (though you also say you think of them as "excuses" and don't want to hear them), then the behavior is valid and not a negative trend, regardless of how many people exhibit it. A valid behavior is not less valid because 500 people are performing it as opposed to 5. If you're saying that, in a group that large, somebody must be lying about their reasons, just because the group is that large, I'd ask you to present evidence to support that assertion, because it doesn't naturally follow. Because of your bias against that behavior, you're going to be disposed to feel negatively for the performers of it and that negativity may express itself as being suspicious of their motives and veracity, but without evidence to support that, I can't follow you into that assumption. You don't like it, and you want it to stop. That doesn't make it inherently wrong. Those who can be shown through evidence, if any, to believe/behave in this way should be addressed individually; that minority behavior should not be used to create supposed negative trends that can't be supported in their existence through evidence. If one wants to bring up the possibility of a negative trend existing and gather that evidence to to support or refute it, one has to be open to hearing (without bias) the input of those who want to assert either way, and to discuss it without dodging the responsibility to do that under the banner of "trends, not individuals." Individuals make trends, and discussion with the individuals who are being accused of taking part of those trends is important to determining their validity.