general entry of blahness

[tielan]

Right hand is getting spasms. Small trembles and involuntary twitches. Kind of tingly, too. *makes fist*

There are work drinks on tonight up at Manly. I said I'd go, but now I don't want to. Not that going home is much better - my sister has a group of friends coming around and they'll be in until around 11pm.

After being sick last week and weekend, I feel like I've been rolled out flat. Physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted. I haven't been to the gym in weeks, and every time I contemplate exercise, I can't bring myself to do anything.

I would like to not-exist for a while. Just temporary, so not death, but just...pop out of existence for a bit and lie in a dark pool of nothingness while the world goes on.

Comments

[thothmes]

Oh, I can so relate as far as the not-existing goes. I've been feeling that way myself lately. I just want to escape it all and be away. I couldn't figure it out for a while, because it wasn't like anything was actively going badly in my life, just the usual collection of little nagging strains here and there, the kind that if that's my biggest problem, then my life is pretty sweet. So why the need to escape it?

I think I finally chased it down to having to hold my tongue/temper too many times, appearing calm and controlled when I didn't feel that way inside. I have an eight year old that... well lets just say that if the Calcutta slums had been filled with her clones, Mother Teresa might have been known as the Butcher of Calcutta instead of being beatified, but still, escalating the situation by losing it doesn't make things any better. Top that off with a period of time when I was taking care of everyone around me, and no one was taking care of me, and - Hey Presto! - malaise, mild depression, escape fantasies.

I have a plan.

1) Make it to the weekend.
2) Use puppy eyes of pleading on husband.
3) Score some me time.

You've had the kitty health crisis, hockey political drama, traffic fun, and other stressors lately.

Time to pamper yourself a bit!

Me, I'm (for once) going to demonstrate the sense that God gave lettuce, and go to bed, so I can face the morning with a modicum of energy.

[tielan]

*hugs*

Honestly, I can hardly cope with my life. I couldn't imagine having to deal with a hubby and kids on top of it.

Take a break, get some rest. Relax. Chill. And definitely take some 'me time'.

[thothmes]

Most days having the hubby and kids gives me more back than it takes. It's the life I've carefully built for myself.

I guess it's like a bank account. Over time the trend is towards building up energy/love reserves. It's just that some days or weeks I end up spending more than I take in.

Weekend here I come!

[rhianona]

*hugs* I hope you feel better.