reason for the "interesting question"

[tielan]

Okay, the reason I asked whether a ring was needed when a marriage proposal is made was because I was in a discussion the other day regarding proposals (don't ask me why the topic came up, the truth is I don't remember) and the other four or five people in the conversation were all "oh, he's totally got to have the ring when he asks."

And there I was, recalling that a whole slew of my RL friends didn't have the ring in hand when they got to discussing marriage. And I know that most of them went 'ring shopping' after the announcement of their engagement went out, so they didn't have the ring beforehand.

Of course, I do tend to have quirky RL friends. Or ones that kind of agree to get married before the actual proposal stuff happens, and then go off and do the picking together.

I was just wondering what other people's baseline experiences/opinions were, and whether I was just an outlier statistic, or possibly an oddity. :)

Comments

[scrollgirl]

I said yes at first, then switched my answer to no because of the word "should". I'm fairly certain that most of the people I know who've gotten engaged have had the guy (all straight couples) buy the ring--with assistance of girl's girlfriends or other female input--prior to proposing. My sister's boyfriend did that.

[busaikko]

Heh. I kind of assumed that it was research for fic -- real life did not even cross my mind!... which says sad things about me, I guess.

I would have been very upset if my husband had bought the ring without me telling him what to buy: I had definite and strong ideas! (But admittedly he to this day insists that he doesn't remember proposing at all. "But we were on vacation!" I say. "The fireworks! The ambiance! The way you said Let's get married!" but nothing jogs his memory. Maybe if he had bought a ring he'd have a better memory... but then I'd be stuck with a ring purchased by a guy who thinks statuettes of Bruce Lee are appropriate for our living room....)

[havocthecat]

From my own personal experience, Mr. Havoc was informed very firmly that he wasn't allowed to go and get a ring to surprise me with, as I have very particular tastes in jewelry and wanted to be there to make sure the ring was something I would like. (Thank God I said that, because he likes modern and contemporary styled jewelry, and I don't.) So he asked, but I knew he was going to sooner or later, and then we went out to buy the ring. Which we put on layaway for about half a year.

[deird1]

Or ones that kind of agree to get married before the actual proposal stuff happens, and then go off and do the picking together.

Yeah, I pretty much think of that as normal...