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7th Jan - how awesome are pairings of emotionally reserved/ruthless women and more emotionally open men?
The simple answer to this is "really awesome".
The complex answer is...complex.
Mostly I enjoy switching up the emotional roles – I like the guys who don't just want to win the heart of the woman they're interested in, but who want to earn her respect. And her respect (not just her tolerance or her amusement) is not always an easy thing to earn.
I like the guys who might have to step outside their comfort zone and take the emotional risk of laying out their cards on the table and saying, "This is me. I kind of hope you like me enough to give me a chance, but if you don't, I still respect the heck out of you." Basically, a man who isn't friends with a woman purely on the hope of getting into her pants.
Also: confidence is sexy – and a guy who 'mans up' and neither mopes nor bitches when a girl turns out not to like him that way is being what I consider an adult and dealing with the cards he's got instead of the cards he wishes he had.
For me, the women who don't give their love away easily – who play their cards close to their chest and are hard to read – are the good ones to write! The women that everyone else dismisses as boring or stoic or no fun? Those are the ones that I like to take and shake up – just a little, just on the inside. On the outside, they're calm and they've got it all together. On the inside? 'A hot mess' could just about sum it up. On the other hand, so could 'really good coping mechanisms'.
On consideration, I tend to write my characters with decent coping mechanisms; their self-destructive urges are more or less under control. Basically, I like writing people who can/have to manage their emotions to the point where they're still functional – who have the capability to heal and not be the walking wounded, even if their scars pull on them at times.
Hm. Speaking of 'emotionally reserved', and thinking about my top five fandoms and their pairings – Sam/Jack (SG1), John/Teyla (SGA), Maria/Steve (Avengers), Mako/Raleigh (Pacific Rim), Arthur/Gwen (Merlin) – I'm just realising that while the man is usually more emotionally open to the relationship, making the overtures, putting himself out there, the woman almost always has more to lose by entering into the relationship.
Notable: the exceptions in that list are John Sheppard (Teyla's the more emotionally open of the two of them, although she also has very good control of her emotions), and Mako (who only gains from her relationship with Raleigh). So they're not a hard-and-fast rules, but they do provide a guideline for the pairings I love to write, as well as how I like to write them.
Plus, I think the situation where the women has more to lose (as in, a lot to lose professionally and not just personally) is an interesting one to write - one where very careful negotiations are necessary, because her job and career and how she's perceived is considered important by the man.
...or did you want me to ramble about my favourite pairings? Because I can do that, too!
Note: I've shifted topics along so I get weekends free...
LJ | DW
The simple answer to this is "really awesome".
The complex answer is...complex.
Mostly I enjoy switching up the emotional roles – I like the guys who don't just want to win the heart of the woman they're interested in, but who want to earn her respect. And her respect (not just her tolerance or her amusement) is not always an easy thing to earn.
I like the guys who might have to step outside their comfort zone and take the emotional risk of laying out their cards on the table and saying, "This is me. I kind of hope you like me enough to give me a chance, but if you don't, I still respect the heck out of you." Basically, a man who isn't friends with a woman purely on the hope of getting into her pants.
Also: confidence is sexy – and a guy who 'mans up' and neither mopes nor bitches when a girl turns out not to like him that way is being what I consider an adult and dealing with the cards he's got instead of the cards he wishes he had.
For me, the women who don't give their love away easily – who play their cards close to their chest and are hard to read – are the good ones to write! The women that everyone else dismisses as boring or stoic or no fun? Those are the ones that I like to take and shake up – just a little, just on the inside. On the outside, they're calm and they've got it all together. On the inside? 'A hot mess' could just about sum it up. On the other hand, so could 'really good coping mechanisms'.
On consideration, I tend to write my characters with decent coping mechanisms; their self-destructive urges are more or less under control. Basically, I like writing people who can/have to manage their emotions to the point where they're still functional – who have the capability to heal and not be the walking wounded, even if their scars pull on them at times.
Hm. Speaking of 'emotionally reserved', and thinking about my top five fandoms and their pairings – Sam/Jack (SG1), John/Teyla (SGA), Maria/Steve (Avengers), Mako/Raleigh (Pacific Rim), Arthur/Gwen (Merlin) – I'm just realising that while the man is usually more emotionally open to the relationship, making the overtures, putting himself out there, the woman almost always has more to lose by entering into the relationship.
Notable: the exceptions in that list are John Sheppard (Teyla's the more emotionally open of the two of them, although she also has very good control of her emotions), and Mako (who only gains from her relationship with Raleigh). So they're not a hard-and-fast rules, but they do provide a guideline for the pairings I love to write, as well as how I like to write them.
Plus, I think the situation where the women has more to lose (as in, a lot to lose professionally and not just personally) is an interesting one to write - one where very careful negotiations are necessary, because her job and career and how she's perceived is considered important by the man.
...or did you want me to ramble about my favourite pairings? Because I can do that, too!
Note: I've shifted topics along so I get weekends free...
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PS I also had my Zoe/Wash and John/Delenn icons lined up but Teyla/John was clearly the correct choice.
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