that terrifying feeling that you got it wrong

[tielan]

Headaches. I mean, it's not even 48 hours after I got the implant out, but headaches at the right temple.

I think I'm most scared of headaches because when all this first began happening, I googled my symptoms and failed root canals and got all the horror stories.

Including one from a woman who had a tooth extracted and thereafter suffered debilitating headaches, and she's a mother of two kids, and used to be really healthy, active, and involved.

It's probably just a temporary thing. It might go away if I drank more water. But but but but but...

I'm still quietly terrified that I got it wrong and I shouldn't have gotten the implant taken out, should have just tried to get them looking at the root canal tooth, should have would have could have...

*sigh*

--

There's nothing to take my mind off right now; nothing about Maria in any of the upcoming movies, nobody's writing Maria/Steve fic worth reading (all the Ao3 stuff right now has them as secondary characters), and I'm kind of tired of asking for Maria in everything and not getting anything ever. (and even when I asked for Maria/Steve, most of the time what I got was friendship-if-you-squint)

Also, I'm still a bit pissed off that the Avengersfest mods never asked me if I had prompts I'd like treated, considering I didn't actually receive anything in the exchange.

Tired right now. Grumpy. I really wish there were more Maria fanworkers out there. (People who actually make stuff/write stuff about her, not just people who like her: I can find plenty of those, but actually productive people? Yeah, nope.)

So, fannish limbo again.

--

So the work project I was worried about seems to be chugging away quite nicely. But since we had the guy over from Europe, I haven't really needed to be involved - I don't have the technical skills and I'm just the in-between person right now.

Which is good because it means I have recovery time. But which is bad, because I'm a bit worried that they have me on this project on which I've done so very little...

Ugh. Life.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

Also, I'm still a bit pissed off that the Avengersfest mods never asked me if I had prompts I'd like treated, considering I didn't actually receive anything in the exchange.

*anger emoji on your behalf*

[tielan]

It's a really small thing, and I feel a bit annoyed at myself for wanting it, but...

[beatrice_otter]

I'm praying that the health stuff turns out right!

[tielan]

Thanks, hon.

[rmc28]

Advice that involves time-travel isn't helpful.

Trust yourself that you made the best choice you could with the information available at the time. (That's certainly how it looks from here.)

[endeni]

On other news I just stumbled into the new Jack Reacher the trailer. I hate the series but trailer features a terrific unformed Cobie Smulders and it gave me so many pre-SHIELD!Maria feels... <3

[geckoholic]

Ah man, I'm sorry you're feeling disenchanted about fandom right now. :/ It's awful when you just sort of feel like you're trucking on mostly by yourself, I've been there.