motherhood and not wanting it

[tielan]

I'm trying to think of whether there's any societally acceptable way (offline, outside of the kind of circles that we encounter here in online fandom) for a woman who's already had kids to express the sentiment that she wishes she'd never had them and I'm coming up blank.

The ones I can think of would mostly get waved away as "selfishness" - ie. career interruption, limitations on lifestyle - or "that's part of the role" - ie. emotional/physical/mental struggle, dealing with the children 90% of the time.

Can you think of one?

Comments

[monanotlisa]

I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to state to friends (but then, I come from the mental-illness position, so my view is particular).

[tielan]

There were a few people who got rather angry about the link on FB - the idea that these women expressed the idea that there were No Redeeming Features about having children was anathema.

At least one part of my point is that if we insist that women MUST see the upside in having children, then women are less likely to admit to ANY downside, which compounds the problem of their mental health and capability, because the instant they say "I don't like being a mother" someone slaps them across the face and grabs the nearest moral soapbox with which to wash their mouth out.