life's bits and pieces

[tielan]

I don't have social anxiety, I have acceptance anxiety. Like, even with friends and people I've known for years, there's a part of me that has major friendship imposter syndrome: "what if they discover that they don't really like me after all?"

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Tressie McMillan Cottom is a joy:

Behold the decade of mid tech!

That is what I want to say every time someone asks me, "WHat about A.I.?" with the breathless anticipation of a boy who thinks this is the summer he finally gets to touch a boob.

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I'm so so tired right now. Just in a permanent state of exhaustion.

Yesterday afternoon, I explained to my sister about 'climate change adaptation' and the phase that we're going into. She listened, but I don't think she really heard.

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I'm in a bit of a bodily self-hating stage right now after putting on about 5kg during my trip. Everything works fine, but the abdominal fat is frustrating me. So is the fact that all the Reformer Pilates classes are taught by women who might weigh 2/3 of me if they were dressed in heavy clothes and soaking wet.

"No, I can't do that move, my belly gets in the way."

Unfortunately, I suspect the only way to lose those kg is through food restriction, which I hate. It would involve removing sugary things entirely, probably for a long period. Ugh.

"Diet starts after new year"?

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A giant tree in my front yard may be dying. It doesn't seem to be re-leafing as smoothly as it usually does, particularly in the crown, and after a heatwave yesterday, it's dropped a whole lot more leaves, many of them green.

More than anything else, this is stressing me right now. I don't know how old the tree is, but it's been there since we moved in, a giant bulwark against the south and the west. Just on top of everything else, it's unnerving seeing the bare upper branches of it.

Comments

[kore]

Ohmigod that is SO me. "I know these people have been friends with me for years and certainly know about me by now, but WHAT IF...." I don't know how to fix it or even slow it down, lolsob.

I also need to cut out sugary treats, for the sake of my remaining teeth if nothing else. It feel so unfair. Madmen are gaining more and more power around the globe, I need my emotional support chocolate ganache!

[tielan]

It's certainly A THING, and it's kind of tiring. I forget about it most of the time, but every now and then it comes back with a vengeance.

I can manage without the sugar, but I am presently in a boredom/frustration -> eat state. I used to be able to channel my boredom/frustration into writing, but it is SO HARD right now.

[gingicat]

If you do cut out sugary foods, make sure you're still eating the same number of calories (do you like eggs and cheese?) to keep your body from going into starvation mode.

[tielan]

Yes, I do love eggs and cheese! And that is an excellent point about the caloric intake.

[kat_lair]

Equally frustrated by the AI everywhere all the time

[tielan]

Can it not just die already?