today, at the end of our time...

[tielan]

I got through to the midafternoon and then...it kind of all drained out of me. Mostly exhaustion, but also the cold (I hate the cold and our house has no insulation), not much food that I want to eat (I was spoiled eating out while I was away), and fretting about the world, my garden, and the cough (which has finally progressed to thin phlegm stage)...

Then I'm feeling like I can't write (again). Or maybe I just can't write my own stuff. Ideas, yes, but actual full manuscripts? No.

Lately, I feel like I can't write anything, actually. Certainly not concisely. I get bogged down in interactions or descriptions. Details that aren't needed and which blow out my word count. And then the story isn't cohesive and the characters aren't compelling and

Team 1 didn't ask me to play for the grand finals, or be included on the grand final list, although I played more than half their games. That's stinging quite a lot.

Anyway, my regular team is playing at midday tomorrow, with a BBQ to follow at one of the players just down the road.

So I didn't mind playing goalie, this year, but I did like playing on the field. I'm just quietly terrified that next year if I ask to play on the field...they'll bump me down to Team 3 again. I'm just not the player that people (or maybe coaches) want on their team. And the Team 1 coach is nice enough, but I feel like she thinks I'm a bit stupid.

Anyway, enough of the negative, on to the positive. In point form:

• Last night I caught up with a cousin and her fam while picking up a new chicken coop in her area, and we had dinner. S admires me a lot and, I think, wants me to be a role model for her kids. It was good to catch up; I haven't seen her since her sister, "cousin T" died about 5 years ago, although we're in contact through FB.
• I had two people come around to help me with adding to the chicken yard. Setting a new post, putting up a new gate, and then attaching the chain link fence all around it. It took an hour (or two) longer than I thought it would, but one of them was very new and it was great to meet her. She admired my garden a lot. (People do.)
• ...I don't have anything other than those.

Comments

[lilysea]

I thought of you the other day when I stumbled across an article about functional/therapeutic clothing for chickens

chicken saddles - to prevent roosters doing damage by pulling out feathers during sex

crop bras - for medical reasons for chickens

[tielan]

crop bras - for medical reasons for chickens

ARe those to keep the chicken crop supported?

[lilysea]

"Ever seen a chicken in a bra?

This poor girl is suffering from Crop Stasis, a condition where the round-shaped, out-pocketing of the chicken's esophagus located at the base of the neck, called the crop, doesn't empty properly of food.

The bra is designed to put pressure on the crop to help it empty and get this girl back into the chookyard.

Designing chicken bra's - just another skill our vet nurses possess!"

[wpadmirer]

There are always so many things going on in regards to sports teams, I don't think you should use it as a guide for how you're thought of by people. Seriously. Teams have weird dynamics, and sometimes players are kept on, not because they're good, but because some people like the way they behave in a team environment. They're the joker, or the hyper, or whatever. So stop using that.

And look at the fact that someone wants to use you as a role model, and that friends will help you with a project that takes time and physical effort. That's an excellent sign that you are someone who behaves in a way that makes people feel good about themselves, as well as you.

THAT'S the mark you want to hit.

[beatrice_otter]

Yes, this! Thank you for saying it better than I could.