fic: Life Trumps All, PG-13 [Teyla, Caldwell]

[tielan]

TITLE: Life Trumps All
SUMMARY: Some differences cannot be reconciled.
CATEGORY: drama, angst
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Argh. Can't be bothered disclaimering. Suffice it to say, yadda-yadda-yadda.
NOTES: For the_rushingwind, who only wanted Teyla/Caldwell.

Life Trumps All

Colonel Caldwell caught up to her in the corridor.

"You shouldn't have made the trade."

"Colonel Caldwell." Teyla turned. She had expected someone to protest her decision - given that she was of Atlantis, but not of the expedition, it was no surprise. "Do you then believe I should have left Dr. Weir, Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, and Ronon in the hands of the Alyonne?"

He hesitated, with the expression on his face caught between two answers: what was right and what was politic. Teyla had noticed it was was not an uncommon look for him, and attributed it to the duality of a man with a conscience and yet carrying the awareness of his professional responsibilities with it. "I think that we could have found a way around it."

Teyla nodded. "I understand your thinking, Colonel. However, the last time my people heard from the Alyonne, they were struggling against a disease that was spreading through their peoples. Few survive it, and it seems that those that have survived took measures."

"Ones that endangered the lives of our people."

"Ones that highlighted their plight," she said.

"They could have asked for help instead of forcing it."

There were aspects of Pegasus thinking that Teyla could never explain to the people from Earth. One of them was just how the expedition was viewed by the local cultures who had encountered them - the good and the bad. The expedition saw themselves as benefactors of Pegasus; Pegasus did not always view them thus.

"Colonel, the Alyonne are a proud people. They will make a show of force in confrontation, and will follow it through it they must.." It had been years since Teyla had traded with the Alyonne, but she remembered the words of her father and Charin both, advising her in how to deal with that people. "Once their pride is acknowledged, they are easily dealt with. If we offer them help now - freely and without prejudice, they will accept it and repay more than what is owed. It is their way."

"They tried to force our hand," he insisted.

"And I allowed them to do so," Teyla replied, accepting the implied criticism, even as she silently acknowledged that it would make no difference. His mind was set and so was hers. He would not understand the Alyonne, or why Teyla allowed them to save face - perhaps he could not.

Teyla had lived among the Lanteans long enough to understand his view, even if she disagreed. As he looked away, she saw that it disturbed him also, a unease that interrupted the trust he had invested in her previously.

She wondered who else would imply criticism of her decision.

By his sides, his hands half-lifted, then fell again in helplessness and frustration. "Teyla, you're not from Earth. We don't negotiate with terrorists. If they did it once, they'll do it again."

It was a tenet of his training, ingrained in him, and she had no hope of persuading him otherwise. She could only defend her decision to him - and to Elizabeth and John when they were returned to the city.

"The Alyonne are not terrorists and this is not Earth" Teyla said. When he began to protest, she overruled him. "Colonel, this is the Pegasus galaxy. And I tell you, as one whose people have successfully dealt with the Alyonne, that to have acted otherwise would not have gained what we desired."

Again, the Colonel made the aborted gesture with his hands. "All I'm saying is that you should have waited."

"For whom?" Teyla met his eyes, unbending beneath his gaze. "To wait any longer would have indicated that we did not place value on the lives of our people, or on the honour of the Alyonne."

"Teyla, this expedition is an outpost of Earth--"

"And one that must adapt to the ways of Pegasus to survive." Teyla wished she could make him understand. "Your ways are still of Earth, but you do not deal with the peoples of Earth but with the peoples of Pegasus."

"You're not the leader of this expedition."

And here, she saw, was the cruxpoint. "No," she agreed with all the calm she could muster beneath the anger that quivered beneath her skin. "But I was left in charge during this situation and I made the decision based on my knowledge of the Alyonne."

"It's not what Dr. Weir would have done."

Teyla let the silence linger a while, allowing him to see her hurt and disappointment at his words. She had not expected approval - their training and upbringing differed too much - but acceptance of what she had done - that she had desired.

Finally, she only said, "I am not Elizabeth," and walked away.

- fin -