...and so I ask myself if I am the stone in your shoe.

[tielan]

"How could anyone love a stone in their shoe?"
~ The Stepmother, Ever After ~

*breathes*

It started with an author called Elizabeth Bear talking about writing the Other without being a dick. Unfortunately, someone pointed out a story of hers which features a magical negro who is 'tamed' by a white woman and stating that it was problematic.

It turned into a big argument about cultural appropriation: who has the right to write about non-whites, how our society perceives and stereotypes the Other (African, Asian, Indian, Oriental, Pacific Islander, Eskimo, Alien), how perfectly nice people can be racist without ever realising it, how it always comes back to the satisfaction and emotional catharsis of white people at the expense of the persons of colour trying to say "I am here, my pain is real, don't ignore what I have to say or dismiss it just because you don't want to hear that you put your foot wrong and might have to apologise."

I'm no good at talking about this stuff - I can't talk about a broader experience, I can only talk about my own experience.

One thing that's repeatedly come up is that white fans feel fandom is their safe space and their place to have fun. That to question the racial assumptions, cultural appropriations, and racist attitudes of fandom is to effectively deny white people their 'safe space', where they can happily squee and post fannishly and never have to question their choices or behaviours or feel guilty about the weight of history upon them regarding racist behaviours, a racist system, and how POC can't hide that they're POC.

And so I sit here and post these thoughts and try to broaden my perspectives and watch as the people who read this journal amble by without ever reading or commenting.

My f-list is primarily fannish. People who like my fic - whatever aspect that might be. People who once liked me. There are a handful of people who are both fannish and people of colour, but they're just that - a handful.

And so I watch the comments rack up on my fiction and wonder if I am the fly in the ointment of my f-list's f-lists.

Am I the crazy lady on the train?

Am I the stone in the shoe?

And if so, are the only options to wince and bear it or to throw the stone away?

Which do you choose?

Do you wince and bear these posts of mine and others like me? Or do you skip over them, safe in the knowledge that tomorrow, next week, next month, I/we/they might post something that you're actually interested in - something that's relevant to you, that doesn't challenge you and your way of looking at the world in any way?

Sometimes I wonder.

Comments

Re: Read this one instead. My and my typos. :D

[tielan]

To some degree, yes, shows like BSG mix up the racial cast. On the other hand, people have pointed out that the Capricans were all white, while one of the other 'tribes' who tended to get the bad rap (I think it might have been Sagitrons?) were POCs; the black Dee is considered 'sloppy seconds' to the white Kara in the romance stakes for Lee Adama - both in fandom and to Lee; and other than Sharon Valerii, there is no COC in the main cast. Helo passes as white in spite of the actor's First Nation heritage, as does Bill Adama in spite of EJO being Hispanic.

And all this compounds and adds to the already-pervasive view that coloured people have no stories to tell, nothing important to say, nothing to teach white people about life and living that isn't inferior to what the whites already know.

I'd say you're less 'hardwired' and more 'socialised', which puts a responsibility on you (and me and everyone else on God's green Earth) to keep an eye on that subconscious bias that creeps in.

But if it is, it's subconsciously.

And this is the heart of the problem: a lot of the people currently out there, bitching commenting about the mean and nasty POC who are calling them on their privilege have simply absorbed the racism that pervades our society.

Some people don't want to change or reframe their perspectives: that's their choice. I want to not only learn, but grow and change and become a better, fairer person through that self-examination and the painful process of being thwapped upside the head when I've tripped over my own privilege.

Does that make sense?

Re: Read this one instead. My and my typos. :D

[jadestrick.livejournal.com]

O_O OMG, that makes PERFECT sense to me, hon. I know it sounds hippieish, but I just want everyone to get along.

I'd say you're less 'hardwired' and more 'socialised', which puts a responsibility on you (and me and everyone else on God's green Earth) to keep an eye on that subconscious bias that creeps in.

And this is the heart of the problem: a lot of the people currently out there, bitching commenting about the mean and nasty POC who are calling them on their privilege have simply absorbed the racism that pervades our society.

THESE two statements hit me. Just the idea (though I don't know if "idea" is the correct word) that my societal relationships have really changed the concepts I learned from my parents is intriguing to me. And bizarre. And that's one of the reasons I tend to ignore any racism posts. That responsibility weighs HEAVILY on my mind (yesterday, I couldn't STOP thinking about your post) and it really just plain HURTS when debate/arguments are brought up without thinking outside of the boxes we've been trapped in.

And the last statement? Hurts even more.

To sound extremely personal, it really does tend to hurt your soul when you want to change people's thinking, and (as I've learned) you really just can't change anybody.

It just breaks my heart. And I think sometimes it's easier to sit there with my broken heart than exhaustively trying to change people.

*sigh*

Re: Read this one instead. My and my typos. :D

[tielan]

And I think sometimes it's easier to sit there with my broken heart than exhaustively trying to change people.

Easier, yes. But I'm something of a stubborn, outspoken bitch at the core. And I've always wanted to change the world.

I just want everyone to get along.

While the sentiment of 'getting along' is a good one, there's an underlying tone to it that implies that someone's causing trouble and if they'd just shut up, keep their complaints to themselves, and stop ruining the fun for everyone else, then everyone would be fine.

I made a more detailed reply to someone else's comment that mentioned the same phrase.

Re: Read this one instead. My and my typos. :D

[jadestrick.livejournal.com]

See, I am too. :D But I also LOATHE getting involved in conflict. Unless it's with my Dad. THEN I go crazy. :P

Well, I think what I meant (which I never seem to convey what I'm really thinking--something in my brain that keeps me from sorting it out and saying it well, I think...I'm often misunderstood :D) by "getting along" was probably more (in Meg-speak) "Can we all just get the fuck over it?!?!" If people wanna yell at each other, more power to them, but reach a conclusion. Find a middle. Let go of all this anger and bitterness toward each other.

See? Societal. :P

I think I'm just tired.