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"Some concerns" ≠ "never ever write this"
Being asked to be thoughtful is not censoring free speech, harshing squee, or pissing in the sandbox.
It is not more oppressive to be asked to be considerate of others than it is to be the subject of systemic oppression.
Write whatever the fuck you like. But write it with thoughtfulness and respect for those for whom your "fictional situation" is a fact of daily life.
If you don't write it with thoughtfulness and respect, expect to get called on it.
Getting called on your lack of respect is far from the worst thing in the world that will ever happen to you.
Embarrassment and regret are not terminal. Nor is apologising.
Being asked to be thoughtful is not censoring free speech, harshing squee, or pissing in the sandbox.
It is not more oppressive to be asked to be considerate of others than it is to be the subject of systemic oppression.
Write whatever the fuck you like. But write it with thoughtfulness and respect for those for whom your "fictional situation" is a fact of daily life.
If you don't write it with thoughtfulness and respect, expect to get called on it.
Getting called on your lack of respect is far from the worst thing in the world that will ever happen to you.
Embarrassment and regret are not terminal. Nor is apologising.
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They're seriously important to be kept in mind.
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As I've seen more and more of this conversation, though, and seen this same sentiment expressed over and over, and tried to understand the other side -- because what you're saying seems very obvious to me, but it's addressing, at least in part, a fear I've seen expressed by people I like, and one I've also felt myself -- I have to say that I think part of the problem isn't just with people who are reacting with a knee-jerk, "if you're going to act like this I'm never going to risk it," but with people for whom writing starts off hard and risky, and gets harder the riskier it is, and who sometimes see what looks to them like a pretty terrifyingly internet-wide smackdown delivered to someone who, many of the people smacking her down agree, wrote the very same kind of story that Hollywood delivers Oscars for.
Getting called on your lack of respect isn't the worst thing that will happen to you, but if "getting called on" = "what feels like the entire internet calling you a shitty human being who should die", and "lack of respect" = "for something you really did try on, but apparently didn't succeed", I can see how that might make it really difficult to go there.
And embarrassment and regret aren't terminal, nor is apologizing. But embarrassment alone is a very, very strong disincentive for a lot of us, and is something we struggle with even when writing a story that doesn't include the need to be smarter than Hollywood in order to avoid having what feels like the entire internet calling you a shitty human being who should die. I can get writer's block because I a make a mistake at work that's totally unrelated to what I'm writing, because it's so damned embarrassing and I can't get past that. Embarrassment = me not writing. When I'm considering the possibility that people I like and respect, as well as the rest of the internet, will descend on my story to tell me I'm a horrible, stupid, thoughtless, or even malicious human being, knowing that embarrassment isn't terminal doesn't actually make it any easier to put hands to keyboard, and knowing that "try to be respectful" does not equal "succeed at being respectful" or even "get the smallest benefit of the doubt that maybe you did try" doesn't help.
Understanding that someone might be scared off of writing characters of color because of these issues does not imply wanting other people to hush or even to moderate their rhetoric. I guess I'm starting to get a little reactive, though, to the amount of contempt I've seen for the idea that the possibility of getting a reaction like gatorgrrrl got is enough to make some people afraid to try. I agree that it shouldn't, just like I agree that making a mistake at work shouldn't throw my writing into a tailspin. But that doesn't actually do anything to make it so.
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That's a factor in my decision as to whether or not to keep writing.
Another facet to the decision to "feel the fear and write it anyway" is that I'd refuse to have my fail be the last thing I'm known by. Embarrassment fades with time - God knows I've embarrassed myself over and over, in fandom and in RL. I've done the racefail, the transfail, and the ableismfail - in relatively small doses. And probably lost friends or potential readers over it.
In the end, I couldn't control what others did or thought; I could only control my own actions and reactions. And when I Failed, I told myself, "That was stupid. STUPID. Now get on up and do better!"
It certainly would make a difference that I've never Failed on such a scale as gatorgrrrl, that my most egregious errors have been limited to smaller audiences. And I firmly believe I'm fortunate in my friends - who were the ones to deliver the smackdown when I racefailed, transfailed, and ablefailed.
So I've learned that I can fall and get up. I've learned that I can accept the responsibility, apologise, take the hit, lose some audience, but pick up and keep going. And maybe that's the core underlying belief in my 7 Rules: that failure doesn't have to be The End.
I understand that fear of embarrassment and humiliation is a powerful disincentive; however my experience tells me that you can pick yourself up from embarrassment and humiliation and people will respect you again. It's harder to prove yourself, and some people won't ever forgive you, but it's not the end.
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What I am saying is that I understand why that's too much for some people to contemplate, and that I'm getting sensitive to the implication that if you're one of those people, you're A) not trying, B) a coward, C) lying, or D) all of the above.
To say that because I can get past my fears, everyone should be able to, would be at the very least an incorrect statement.
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I suspect the the people implying that it's problematic to retreat in the face of fear are feeling that many of the people saying they're afraid seem less concerned about getting it wrong than they are concerned of being called out for getting it wrong.
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