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Not enough water? Not enough sleep? It's definitely not a lack of food.
Or is it just the back-to-work-itis of early May, after our long weekends of April (Easter and ANZAC day)? Or is it brain cancer? (Look, you never know!)
Maybe it's the SADs caused by the slow descent into winter. Maybe it's just that everything in this house is cold and cluttered and will never be neat again. Maybe it's that the world is going slowly mad and bad and just how saddening it is to watch. Maybe that my favourite characters are once again descending into the "unimportant, uninteresting, unremembered" basket. Or that I'm a failure at writing professional fiction?
After an April of crazy writing - mostly fannish, May writing has been meh. After the last week, I just haven't had the brainspace nor the "discipline". I don't have an audience, nobody would rep me, why should I even bother when barely anyone wants to read the kinds of characters I like?
*sigh*
Don't know how much of this is the internal saboteur, and how much is real anymore.
Maybe it's no wonder I have a headache.
--
I did a podcast recording last Saturday with a friend for a new pod called Fandom Olds, mostly about 'the olden days of fandom'. A lot of what I talked about (or feel I talked about) was the distinction between fannish spaces that encouraged community vs those that encouraged consumerism.
eg. LiveJournal might have been anxietymaking for the people who didn't want to leave comments and poke their head above the parapet (and there were plenty of those) but when people did leave comments, then conversations ensued, leading to friendships. It was easier to foster community because everything was an interaction with another person.
In comparison, places like Tumblr or Twitter (and even AO3) tend to be sites for consumption, not community. One goes, one reads, one leaves a like or a kudos, maybe reblogs or shares or recommends, but you can do that without ever having to actually interact with someone else. I mean, you can start a conversation but it's difficult to follow, and - in the case of Tumblr or Twitter - it's been thrown out there and could go anywhere and do anything.
eg. A tumblr post I made around 2014 saying "thank God we have gun laws in Australia because today a knife wielding guy attacked in a crowded marketplace and everyone survived including the knife-wielder and two of my friends with their babies who were having a mother's group at one of the cafes by the marketplace" got picked up by a pro-gun account and thoroughly mocked because being allowed to carry a gun would have stopped that shit before anyone got injured, natch...
There was a lot we talked about, I hope it was useful and fun. It was certainly a walk down memory lane!
--
Trip up to the northern highlands (that's what I'm calling it: I think it's actually called The Mid-North Coast) again this weekend. Really not feeling like it with the headache.
Lawnmower guy is coming today. Chooks have been moved to the triangle bed for the day to scratch around, dig things up, generally fertilise and be entertained while doing so... Nobody's laying so there's no need to get anyone back for the laying box.
I have some garlic that's been sitting in a light seaweed solution for a couple of days to grow roots and gather nutrients and it needs to go into a box or the ground ASAP. Problem is finding somewhere for it to go. The only box I have that's suitable currently has broad beans in it which is not ideal (beans and alliums don't do well together).
I might shove some in the nearby step bed on consideration. Toss some lettuce seeds down for winter. A couple of silverbeet, maybe? Will have to be during lunch.
*sigh*
Too many things to do, not enough time in which to do them, and I have a 2.5 hour drive ahead of me this evening...
Or is it just the back-to-work-itis of early May, after our long weekends of April (Easter and ANZAC day)? Or is it brain cancer? (Look, you never know!)
Maybe it's the SADs caused by the slow descent into winter. Maybe it's just that everything in this house is cold and cluttered and will never be neat again. Maybe it's that the world is going slowly mad and bad and just how saddening it is to watch. Maybe that my favourite characters are once again descending into the "unimportant, uninteresting, unremembered" basket. Or that I'm a failure at writing professional fiction?
After an April of crazy writing - mostly fannish, May writing has been meh. After the last week, I just haven't had the brainspace nor the "discipline". I don't have an audience, nobody would rep me, why should I even bother when barely anyone wants to read the kinds of characters I like?
*sigh*
Don't know how much of this is the internal saboteur, and how much is real anymore.
Maybe it's no wonder I have a headache.
--
I did a podcast recording last Saturday with a friend for a new pod called Fandom Olds, mostly about 'the olden days of fandom'. A lot of what I talked about (or feel I talked about) was the distinction between fannish spaces that encouraged community vs those that encouraged consumerism.
eg. LiveJournal might have been anxietymaking for the people who didn't want to leave comments and poke their head above the parapet (and there were plenty of those) but when people did leave comments, then conversations ensued, leading to friendships. It was easier to foster community because everything was an interaction with another person.
In comparison, places like Tumblr or Twitter (and even AO3) tend to be sites for consumption, not community. One goes, one reads, one leaves a like or a kudos, maybe reblogs or shares or recommends, but you can do that without ever having to actually interact with someone else. I mean, you can start a conversation but it's difficult to follow, and - in the case of Tumblr or Twitter - it's been thrown out there and could go anywhere and do anything.
eg. A tumblr post I made around 2014 saying "thank God we have gun laws in Australia because today a knife wielding guy attacked in a crowded marketplace and everyone survived including the knife-wielder and two of my friends with their babies who were having a mother's group at one of the cafes by the marketplace" got picked up by a pro-gun account and thoroughly mocked because being allowed to carry a gun would have stopped that shit before anyone got injured, natch...
There was a lot we talked about, I hope it was useful and fun. It was certainly a walk down memory lane!
--
Trip up to the northern highlands (that's what I'm calling it: I think it's actually called The Mid-North Coast) again this weekend. Really not feeling like it with the headache.
Lawnmower guy is coming today. Chooks have been moved to the triangle bed for the day to scratch around, dig things up, generally fertilise and be entertained while doing so... Nobody's laying so there's no need to get anyone back for the laying box.
I have some garlic that's been sitting in a light seaweed solution for a couple of days to grow roots and gather nutrients and it needs to go into a box or the ground ASAP. Problem is finding somewhere for it to go. The only box I have that's suitable currently has broad beans in it which is not ideal (beans and alliums don't do well together).
I might shove some in the nearby step bed on consideration. Toss some lettuce seeds down for winter. A couple of silverbeet, maybe? Will have to be during lunch.
*sigh*
Too many things to do, not enough time in which to do them, and I have a 2.5 hour drive ahead of me this evening...
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Also, I have recently found an interesting Steve Rogers/Maria Hill story on the Rough Trade group, and it's not rough at all, so I think the person just is part of that group and is posting there because they traditionally do a chapter at a time. (It's a non-avengers AU with Rogers being a young Congressman and Maria Hill being his personal protection person.)
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https://www.roughtrade.org/category/projects/as-safe-as-houses-mcu/
The chapters are posted from the bottom up, so #1 is at the bottom.
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Everything is harder when you're in pain, I think that's pretty universal.
I hope your weekend course goes well.
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And yeah, I miss the days of Dreamwidth popularity. It felt less ... consumer.