...and so I ask myself if I am the stone in your shoe.

[tielan]

"How could anyone love a stone in their shoe?"
~ The Stepmother, Ever After ~

*breathes*

It started with an author called Elizabeth Bear talking about writing the Other without being a dick. Unfortunately, someone pointed out a story of hers which features a magical negro who is 'tamed' by a white woman and stating that it was problematic.

It turned into a big argument about cultural appropriation: who has the right to write about non-whites, how our society perceives and stereotypes the Other (African, Asian, Indian, Oriental, Pacific Islander, Eskimo, Alien), how perfectly nice people can be racist without ever realising it, how it always comes back to the satisfaction and emotional catharsis of white people at the expense of the persons of colour trying to say "I am here, my pain is real, don't ignore what I have to say or dismiss it just because you don't want to hear that you put your foot wrong and might have to apologise."

I'm no good at talking about this stuff - I can't talk about a broader experience, I can only talk about my own experience.

One thing that's repeatedly come up is that white fans feel fandom is their safe space and their place to have fun. That to question the racial assumptions, cultural appropriations, and racist attitudes of fandom is to effectively deny white people their 'safe space', where they can happily squee and post fannishly and never have to question their choices or behaviours or feel guilty about the weight of history upon them regarding racist behaviours, a racist system, and how POC can't hide that they're POC.

And so I sit here and post these thoughts and try to broaden my perspectives and watch as the people who read this journal amble by without ever reading or commenting.

My f-list is primarily fannish. People who like my fic - whatever aspect that might be. People who once liked me. There are a handful of people who are both fannish and people of colour, but they're just that - a handful.

And so I watch the comments rack up on my fiction and wonder if I am the fly in the ointment of my f-list's f-lists.

Am I the crazy lady on the train?

Am I the stone in the shoe?

And if so, are the only options to wince and bear it or to throw the stone away?

Which do you choose?

Do you wince and bear these posts of mine and others like me? Or do you skip over them, safe in the knowledge that tomorrow, next week, next month, I/we/they might post something that you're actually interested in - something that's relevant to you, that doesn't challenge you and your way of looking at the world in any way?

Sometimes I wonder.

Comments

[sugargroupie.livejournal.com]

it seems to me that they are saying my hardships, alienation and other experience is not as bad as someone of color, which I find deeply offensive and very narrow minded.

I don't see anywhere in this post where tielan is invalidating your experiences or those of your grandparents. But it seems to me that you've gone out of your way to invalidate hers by making this post all about you when it's really not.

I can't speak for tielan, but it's been my experience that your reaction here is a predictable response from white people who, rather than actually listen to what POC have to say and acknowledge that their experiences with racism is different than the discrimination you've experienced, make it all about their feelings.

This is not about you.

[autumn-whispers.livejournal.com]

I understand this is not about me but she is asking for our opinions and so I am giving one, which is mine and will subsequently include something about me because, hey, it's my opinion and my opinion is shaped by my experience.

Also, never did I suggest that tielan is invalidating my experience or those of my grandparents. Nor did I say that I don't acknowledge that someone's experience with racism is different than discrimination. However I would like to ask what your opinion is on racism vs discrimination. How do you define them?

Also, I am not talking about my experiences here, I made a point to leave them out.

Your response is also what I would consider typical. I am not trying to start an argument, I was simply wanting to share another opinion.

Now I cant really tell from your writing what your tone to me is supposed to be but it seems very hostile and a little rude. If this is not the case then I'm sorry. I would also like to note that it was not my intent to be rude in my previous post nor is it my intent to be so now.

[sugargroupie.livejournal.com]

I quoted the relevant part of your reply, but I'll do so again. What exactly did you mean by this: it seems to me that they are saying my hardships, alienation and other experience is not as bad as someone of color, which I find deeply offensive and very narrow minded.

That should not be taken as making it about you? When people of color make posts about their experiences w/r/t race, it's often the act of dredging up old hurts and painful experiences, and it's very dismissive to come into a post and turn the focus so that it's no longer about that POC but about you. You may not have even realized that that's what you were doing, but that was my impression, and it is very typical response and reflection of your privilege.

I'm not going there with you on my tone. I have not been disrespectful to you.

[autumn-whispers.livejournal.com]

That should not be taken as making it about you?

I understand where you are coming from, the 'my' wasn't meant to be me but suppose to be those who aren't considered POC in general. In retrosepct I didn't phrase it well, I wasn't trying to make this about me but I was trying to give an example that was different. I was trying to say you can't blanketly say just because someone is white they either dont understand, emphathise or have gone through something similar.


it is very typical response and reflection of your privilege

And by privilege you mean my being white?

I have not been disrespectful to you.

Thank you and I hope I have not been to you because it wasn't my intention.

I would still like to know your ideas on racism vs discrimination though.

[sugargroupie.livejournal.com]

I was trying to say you can't blanketly say just because someone is white they either dont understand, emphathise or have gone through something similar.

I understand. We have completely didn't readings of this post, because, that wasn't the message I took away at all.

And by privilege you mean my being white?

Yes, your white privilege (http://blog.shrub.com/archives/tekanji/2006-03-08_146). I highly recommend reading this guide.

I would still like to know your ideas on racism vs discrimination though.

Sorry, I meant to answer your question in my previous reply. I'll just c&p what's found in the link above about the key differences in discriminating against POC vs. whites:

"The same power dynamics that create privilege have created a hierarchy of prejudice so that discrimination against a privileged group is not the same as discrimination against a non-privileged group. This is because discrimination against a non-privileged group is backed up with institutionalized power, whereas discrimination against a privileged group is often a singular act and therefore easier to avoid."